the -ed chronicles

Overwhelm-ed? Sweat it out.

2012-02-23T07:32:00.000-08:00

Let’s take a moment to talk about how silly we can be sometimes.

Yesterday afternoon I left work late, feeling overwhelmed and frustrated. I contemplated going home and throwing myself a grand pity party (I am in event planning, after all). Luckily, however, the bus route I take passes directly in front of the gym I belong to (this was a strategic decision on my part) and so I hopped off the bus and decided I was going to put all of the negative energy buzzing around in my body towards running the hardest 30 minutes I could. Man, I have never felt so good on a treadmill before! With every surge in the music, I pushed the up button on the speed monitor. I left feeling like I could take on the world.

It’s amazing what a little sweat can do. And that’s all it took to put things in perspective. If all I needed was a hard run to wash my “problems” away, they probably weren’t really worth worrying about in the first place.

Replac-ed.

2012-02-22T07:45:00.000-08:00

Today marks the first day of Lent, which for me, as in years past, marks the first of 40 days without chocolate.

Though I understand that not everyone practices Lent, I believe self-restraint is something worth testing from time to time.

What is your vice? Is it facebook? diet coke? wine?

Give it up…just for today. And even better, replace it with something you wish you did more frequently. Log out of facebook and write a blog post instead. Put down the coke can and chug a bottle of water. Stick the cork back in the wine bottle and take a jog during happy hour. As for me, I’ll be replacing chocolate with green or herbal tea.

You know that old saying about breakups? The best way to get over someone is to get under someone else. It applies here too. Replace a bad habit with a better one and you’ll lessen the separation anxiety.

Especially if you ate nearly this entire box of chocolate covered strawberries last night...

Surpris-ed?

2012-01-31T12:09:00.000-08:00

Is anyone still out there? Surpris-ed to see me back here after so long?

I'm in the process of building a new platform that I hope you will like, but first order of business...I need a new name. the -ed chronicles has served me well, but I think it's time for something a little catchier, a little more...me.

Here is where you come in. What would you name my next blog? Consider the content I post, the mood, the voice. If possible, I'd like to incorporate my nickname, "Tori" into the new name. Or, if you have another idea, let me know.

Leave any ideas in the comments below. If I end up using your suggestion, there's a box of these in your future.

Touch-ed.

2011-08-30T12:20:00.000-07:00

Please take a moment to watch this beautiful Happy Birthday Tribute to a very lucky wife. I stumbled upon this a while back and remember watching it repeatedly at my desk as tears collected and my lower lip trembled. The second time around was no different.

Never forget how lucky you are. There is so much beauty in this life.

So much beauty because of you.

Start-ed to Fall.

2011-08-29T07:23:00.000-07:00

Welcome to the very beginning of my favorite season. The season of burnt orange, rusty red and chocolately brown. The season of cable knit sweaters, soft leather boots and light weight jackets. The season of crisp air, fallen leaves and cozy nights. The season of juicy apples, velvety pumpkin and spicy cinnamon. The season of family dinners, crackling fires and football games. The season of perfect weather for no-frizz hair, balanced skin and walking outside without sweating.

There's something about fall that screams 'new' to me. Perhaps it's the association fall always has with going back to school, buying new supplies and a new wardrobe. Perhaps it's the obvious sense of change that permeates the air. Fall allows us all to start over, forget about the somewhat exhausting long summer days and start fresh in the crisp air.

In fact, I find I make most of my best resolutions in the fall. Here is this year's resolution:

This year I will make more of an effort to play to my passions: take a cooking course, read about my favorite idols (currently reading Julia Child's memoir and LOVING it), learn more about wine, write in my journal, speak more french, bake a perfect pie crust, keep up with distant friends.

It sounds easy enough: do what you love. But sometimes, this can be the hardest thing to achieve. First, we have to identify what it is that makes us happy, and then find the time to do it. It wasn't until this weekend, while spending the afternoon nose-deep in Julia's descriptions of how to make an omlette that I realized what I need to be doing. And so, I put down the book and made oatmeal raisin cookies, zucchini bread, chicken schnitzel and zucchini fritters.

I fell into bed with a full stomach and heart. Ah, fall. You're always so good to me.

What is your fall resolution?

Peac-ed Out.

2011-08-24T07:43:00.000-07:00

This morning on my way into work, I stopped at the small Rockefeller Center farmers’ market. I winded through aisles of ripe apricots, fresh greens, and homemade jams. I picked up a bunch of still mud-caked radishes, a loaf of freshly baked bread, and a handful of plums. This evening, the boyfriend and I have planned a picnic dinner on the Hoboken waterfront to celebrate the fall-like weather that has been gracing the Northeast the past couple of days. I wanted to pick up some fresh goodies to munch on (and it was a good excuse to indulge one of my favorite hobbies--food shopping).

Before I knew it, 30 minutes had passed. Thirty minutes sitting at my work desk feels like two hours. Twenty minutes wandering the farmers market, inspecting the produce, smelling for freshness, feeling for ripeness, passes like no time at all. I am never more at peace than I am when I’m with food. Perhaps it’s the earthiness or the sensory stimulation. Whatever it is, I could have passed the day there in those market stalls, tasting and wandering. This is what happiness tastes like to me on a Wednesday morning.

What makes you feel at peace? Is it reading a good book? Writing in a journal? Playing an instrument? Gardening? Running?

Mov-ed, Learn-ed, & Ate.

2011-08-19T12:10:00.000-07:00

M O V E

L E A R N

E A T

I stumbled upon this series of 3 videos. I think the description says it all: "3 guys, 44 days, 11 countries, 18 flights, 38 thousand miles, an exploding volcano, 2 cameras and almost a terabyte of footage... all to turn 3 ambitious linear concepts based on movement, learning and food ....into 3 beautiful and hopefully compelling short films....."

These three concepts (movement, learning and food) are what make the world go round. I hope these clips inspire you as much as they did me.
I love the upbeat solo piano music in the background. The editing blows my mind, and the video quality is unmatched.

Great job guys, just one question: next time, will you take me with you?

Where will you go? What will you learn? And how will it all taste?

Happiness, Sim-ed up.

2011-08-19T08:19:00.000-07:00

Have you ever played the highly addictive computer game, The Sims?

When I was growing up, playing house involved a Fisher Price kitchennette, an easy bake oven, and a few unsuspecting friends who were willing to taste my underbaked mud pies. Today, kids play house on the computer. Whether this is sad or genius I don't quite know, but I'm referencing this computer game because it sheds some real light on real life.

My sister and I used to have a blast building imaginary lives and imaginary houses, developing imaginary careers and arranging imaginary furniture. And yet, when I think about it, it all was so realistic.

For those of you that are familiar with the game, you'll remember that each character had several basic needs that you were responsible for tending to in order to make sure they were happy and healthy. Just like in real life, your avatar needed to eat, use the bathroom, stay fit, learn and have social interaction in order to maintain a healthy life. Each of these tasks took a certain amount of time, and some days, you just couldn't fit it all in.

Isn't it the same deal with real life? We know we have certain needs to tend to, but it's never as cut and dry as it was on the Sims. But perhaps it should be.

Yesterday, I spent a very lonely and unproductive day at work. All I really wanted to do was crawl into bed and cry. But I knew that wouldn't boost my happiness meter one bit. Instead, I laced up my running shoes, bolted out the door for the quickest 3 miles I've ever run, treated myself to a healthy vegetarian meal, and then headed back into the city to meet 4 of my favorite females for some much needed giggling, gossiping, and love. By the end of the night, as I drifted off into much needed sleep, I realized that my happiness meter was right where it should have been--full.

Life will always have it's ups and downs, but as long as we take care of ourselves, we'll always win. Thanks, Sims, for making something so complicated so simple in this digital world.

What do you need today?

Tailor-ed to your Taste & Waist

2011-08-09T12:42:00.000-07:00

pic: weheartit

Let's talk about food.

My dear friend over at hungry for living wrote a post per my request for some information about lactose intolerance. She is a master ninja researcher with a special interest in healthy living, so I knew she'd do a great job.

I am thrilled to see the increase in healthy eating, but even more excited to hear about the new trend in food awareness. So many people don't pay attention to their own bodies, assuming that an 'upset tummy' is normal. Food allergies are a very real issue and are extremely important to ensuring digestive health.

Next time you eat your turkey sandwich at lunch, listen to what your body tells you after you eat it. Does something not feel right? Trust me, your diet should be just as tailored to your tastes as it should be to your health.

You're not Bor-ed, You're Boring.

2011-08-02T11:04:00.000-07:00

On one of my frequented blogs, Yes and Yes, I found this quote:

"‘I’m bored’ is a useless thing to say. I mean, you live in a great, big, vast world that you’ve seen none percent of. Even the inside of your own mind is endless. The fact that you’re alive is amazing, so you don’t get to say ‘I’m bored.’" -Louis CK

How true it is. Your mind is an infinite resource that is constantly bubbling with words and thoughts and images, plans and dreams. Capture them to share with the rest of the world. Write something, draw something, sing something, make something, say something, be something.

Likewise, the world is there for your entertainment, experience it.
Eat an ice cream cone and taste the sweet grains of sugar as they melt on your tongue.
Kiss someone’s forehead and marvel at how affection can pulsate through your being so strongly that you have to clench your teeth and fists to keep it inside.
Kick your legs up on a park swing, isn’t it amazing that no matter how high you pump, you can never push yourself up and over the bar in one big circle?
Seek to understand the answer to a question no one has posed before.
Notice all the details.
Keep going, digging, running, writing, being.
You don’t get to say ‘I’m bored.’

Sav-ed for a rainy day.

2011-07-29T07:33:00.000-07:00

Any one else crave a rainy day every once in a while?

When I lived in Miami, it seemed like it was sunny nearly every day. Even when it rained, it usually blew through quickly, an afternoon tropical storm would pass through, dumping buckets over South Florida in an hour or so and then the sun would return. In the summers, it was almost like clock-work. Every afternoon at approximately 4pm, the skies would darken, the storm would brew, and by the end of my 5pm class, the air felt a bit cooler and the sidewalks would be damp.

As glorious as this weather sounds, I actually got tired of the sun--and not for the normal reasons you would expect. The heat, sunburns, and high electric bills (though all annoying) were not what were disenchanting. Every so often, we wake up and want to stay in bed, spend a day on the couch, nurse a cold or a bad day by never leaving our apartment. When it is gloriously sunny, warm, and the beach is a 15 minute walk away, you rarely ever feel it's possible to just stay inside.

As much as we can sometimes gripe about the weather in NY--the brutally hot summers and the winters that are equally as extreme--I love the weather for the rainy days.

Somehow I have caught a cold in between the back-to-back heat waves we've experienced here this summer. All I wanted this morning was a gloomy day--and good old NY delivered. Sitting at my desk, looking out at the heavy gray sky, I know this is just what the doctor ordered. I can feel free to stay indoors all day and start the movie marathon.

Sometimes, we just need a rainy day to feel better.

Toast-ed.

2011-07-28T12:48:00.000-07:00

I'd like to propose a toast.

Here's to the people that inspire you to be a better version of yourself. It is rare that someone doesn't want to change who we are, but instead wants to improve how we are.

M--Thanks to you, I'm Tori 2.0.

Intantly Gratifi-ed.

2011-05-10T11:35:00.000-07:00

They should call us Generation IG. Everything in our world is created on an ‘instant gratification’ basis. Our phones link to Google from any where in the world so that we can instantly know the answer to the burning question: “Why is there fuzz on a kiwi?”

We don’t even have to be in the same hemisphere to do business. I’ll video chat you while we make our billion-dollar deal.

Oh, and if you’re feeling a little lonely in the love department, don’t worry. We’ll type up a quick profile and you’ll be chatting with hotties in no time. Though gratification cannot be guaranteed. Sorry.

The world’s entire global economy is centered around making things instantly accessible. There is an instant answer to all of our needs.

I’m hungry: fast food.
I’m fat: liposuction.
I need an answer: Google.
I want perfect memories: Digital cameras.
I have dirty hands: Hand Sanitizer.
I want a tan: fake tanner.
I need new music: Pandora/iTunes.
I want to watch a movie: Netflix.
I want to go on a Date: Match.com
I want friends: Facebook

Now I can’t say if this instant gratification world is a good or a bad thing because as a Generation IG’er, I’ve never really known anything else. But, what ever happened to our grandparents’ saying: “All good things are worth the wait.” If we never have to wait for anything any more, is anything really as good?

Try taking the scenic route. Let’s wait and see.

Change, Bloom-ed?

2011-05-10T11:09:00.000-07:00

It is officially Spring and change is in the air.

I just had a very insightful conversation with a dear friend. She has a lot of change brewing in her life: an upcoming marriage, a cross-country move, and the beginnings of a new career (congrats on all 3, by the way, M). Here I am griping about my move 4 miles away (give me some credit, it’s to a different state!) and my jury duty summons.

I am usually one to make grand general statements like “we are creatures of habit; change is against our nature.” Or “change is ultimately the best medicine for a chronic ailment.” But, I believe both statements to be true. And so here is my grand general statement: “Life is a bit like a rubix cube with one square blank; it’s a challenge, and even when you think you have it all figured out…you’ll never know.” Encouraging, I know.

This past mother’s day, my madre had us out in the garden doing some minor landscaping. It always surprises me how much spring is the season of new beginnings and fresh perspective. Sure we may have to endure the rainy, muddy days to get there, but we know there will always be May flowers waiting for us when the sun comes out.

What mud have you treaded recently? Have your changes bloomed into everything you hoped for?
I hope so.

pic: weheartit

F-ed Up.

2011-03-21T08:09:00.000-07:00

I work with top executives of a Fortune 500 company on a daily basis. I plan their events, create menus for their diplomatic dinners, and deal with their general ridiculous requests.

I always thought that the closer one got to the top, the more things would start to make sense. The goals of an organization would become clear, the intentions would be for the global good of the enterprise, and the meetings would be about real policies and change.

How wrong I was.

I now realize that the intentions are almost always selfish, the meetings are mostly politics and very little policy, and the goals remain to keep the corner office no matter the cost. In fact, I think the executary title actually makes them stupider. Because they have hired folks to do nearly every menial task for them, they have reverted back to childlike helplessness.

Trust me, we all work for four year olds.

We all need to work for people we can believe in. And unfortunately, my faith in the higher ups of this company has run out. It's time for a new adventure in a place that fosters creativity, productivity, and inspired work.

It's time for a new plan of action...

Who's hiring?

Spring-ed

2011-03-18T10:27:00.000-07:00

With spring around the corner, I find myself longing for space. I wish I had a backyard garden to grow big ripe tomatoes, fragrant daffodils, and fresh zucchini. A place to sit and savor a refreshing drink while I collect my thoughts would be nice. I'd love some fresh air -- air that smells like air and not any other chemical or human byproduct. I'm forgetting what it feels like to go barefoot all day long, and how silence really sounds. I'm losing my sense of nature, as it is slowly replaced with a sense of direction in this big city life.

I hear New Yorkers describe the Big Apple as the best place on Earth. I'd like to think that I've managed to avoid catching the Manhattan disease. I still believe there is nothing better than a quiet seat somewhere in the middle of green, where you can't hear a car horn for miles, and the only lights on at night are the stars.

pic:weheartit

Pray-ed for French Perspective

2011-03-02T07:07:00.000-08:00

Today, for some reason more than most days, I was craving a piece of France. It’s been nearly a year since I was back in my beloved adopted country and the withdrawal is only getting worse.

In high school, I spent a month with a French family, learning the language and the culture. The Girauts were a kind family of six who lived in Tours, but who traveled North to Normandie every weekend in the summer to spend time at the family country home. In France, every old home has a name.

Courtoulin was a large stone house surrounded by an apple orchard, a neighboring farm, and pastures of cows grazing all day long.

In the mornings, I’d awaken to the sound of birds chirping and a soft breeze wafting through my open window.

And before breakfast, the two young boys would wander over to the farm next door to get fresh milk and eggs. They invited me to come along and I knew this was an experience not to miss. In a way, it felt like we were walking back in time, as if with each step, we escaped the future. The farmer was a quiet proud man. He would open the barn door with a smile and usher us in. In turn for the milk and eggs, we would deliver berries and other treats we had picked from our garden.

On the walk home, we’d pass a small chapel where everyone in the Giraut family was married, and where everyone in the Giraut family was buried. It seemed the entire family history could be told from the pulpit of that little stone chapel.

Our days were spent doing chores: the women prepared three elaborate meals each day, while the boys did boy things like search for snakes and make sure our glasses were always full of the alcoholic apple cider they brewed in the barn. It was a simple life. It was a beautiful life.

Nowadays I find my days are filled with phone calls and emails and honking car horns. And though at times, it is an exciting life, at others, it seems a waste of my precious hours. In the country, everything tasted better, the air smelt sweeter, and thoughts flowed onto my journal pages like water.

I’d like to go back there someday and sit in the little chapel. I imagine the conversation I’d have with those walls, the light coming through the small stained glass windows and making me see the important things in life.

I think I’d pray for fresh milk and eggs and perspective.

Bless-ed Home.

2011-02-16T11:24:00.000-08:00

What is it about going home that makes everything seem right?

Last week Mom and I stayed up late baking caramel pecan squares, swooning over paint colors for her bedroom remodel, and drinking more wine than is appropriate on a Wednesday evening. It was perfect.

Dad filled me in on all of his new projects, and drove me to the train in the morning, waiting with the seat warmers turned up high.

Life is pretty wonderful like that.

Baffl-ed.

2011-02-08T07:23:00.000-08:00

When I was in 5th grade, my English teacher gave the class an assignment to make a list of 10 things that we didn’t understand. Even at the time, I remember thinking it was a really cool project. Here were a few of the things on my list:

I don’t understand…

1. How music is recorded and played back on a CD.

2. How everything fits and works together in your body.

3. How the universe can be infinite. Actually, I don’t understand infinity, in general.

4. Black holes.

5. How language began.

Ironically, most of what I didn’t understand back then remains a mystery to me today.

For some reason, photography makes slightly more sense to me than music. A light reflection collected on film is something I can understand. But how sound vibrations are collected on a shiny plastic disk and played back to make up the nuances of a piano solo or a jazz singer’s voice is beyond my comprehension.

The complexity of the human body baffles me. Even more mind boggling is the fact that something so familiar to each one of us, still remains one of the least understood (and most abused) things in our physical realm.

The idea that there is no end to something—that if we were to reach out in any direction for light years, we would never find an edge—is something I imagine none of us will ever truly understand.

Black holes. Enough said.

Essentially how any concept begins (language, numbers, math, etc.) is fascinating to me. Who was the caveman who first decided that the objects we put into our mouths would be called ‘food’? And further, who was the first guy to think ‘hey, I should eat this!’ Was it all a chain reaction? Caveman #1 eats something, he feels better, so he decides he needs to tell caveman #2 to eat it too. How do I do that? Well, perhaps I’ll make some noises and gesture. And so, language was born? That’s just the way I imagine it, but I think you get the point. The beginning of anything is fascinating.

After some consideration, I’ve come up with a theory--because it is human nature to want to understand everything around us. Perhaps there are so many open-ended questions left unanswered so that there would be purpose for life. If every answer was apparent, there would be no reason to explore, to challenge, to experiment. It gives us something to do with our approximately 70 years on Earth. God left us a puzzle with an infinite number of pieces so we’d stay busy.

What piece do you think you’re in charge of? What don’t you understand?

Pockets Empti-ed.

2011-01-31T06:37:00.000-08:00

We went out for Hudson Restaurant Week on Friday and this happened...

Two martinis,
Two stuffed bellies,
Two hours spent philosophizing in French,
Two fuzzy heads,
And what felt like two hundred dollars later,
The two of us drove home.

The rest of the weekend was spent baking cookies, watching cute French romantic comedies, lunching with old friends, playing Wii tennis, and cuddling. My version of bliss.

This week will be a busy one, filled with book club (though I haven't read the book), a dinner with the boyfriend and out-of-country guests, and wedding dress shopping with a special friend. I'm looking forward to it all! However, after such a lavish weekend, the wallet is a little light.

This week's challenge is to keep as many pennies in my pocket as possible. We'll see how it goes.

What are your best tricks for staying on a budget?

If God call-ed You, what would he say?

2011-01-28T08:19:00.000-08:00

I think if God were to ever write me a letter, it would be short. I mean, I know the guy has all the time in the universe, but he's busy negotiating the saving of souls and stuff.

So, I imagine my letter to go something like this:

"It's all good. Love, G."

And just as I'm about to tuck the folded letter into my pocket for safe keeping, I'd notice an ink smudge on the corner. In my cynical mind, I'd think:

'Seriously, God?'

As I wiped it away with my thumb, a new message would appear under my touch...

"Trust me."

Believ-ed in You.

2011-01-28T07:07:00.000-08:00

Why is it that sometimes we can have so little faith in ourselves?

We know we've done it a million times before, but we trust that this time will be the one we mess up. We know ourselves better than anyone else ever will, yet we often trust other's opinions more than our own.

We pray, and repent, and ask for help, but what we fail to realize is that we can do anything, if we just have faith.

I have faith in you.

Do you?

Challeng-ed.

2011-01-27T11:52:00.000-08:00

There are two things you can do when presented with a challenge: step up to the plate, or cower in the corner and hope the challenger doesn't smell fear.

But, see, the thing about hiding out is that you'll never know if you could actually do it. And what if you could. actually. do it??

At least, if you try and fail, you get the credit for trying. And, even better, if you try and succeed, well then you're pretty awesome! So sometimes it's worth it to stick your neck out and give it a go--whether that means stepping up when your boss is out on a snow day, or taking that class on a new subject, or trying out that tough hike you always found too intimidating.

I stepped up today. And even though I may not have been the best, I did it my way and it worked well enough. And, my friends, it feels pretty darn good.

What challenge have you taken on lately?

Time, Wish-ed Away

2011-01-25T11:27:00.000-08:00

Sitting at my desk on a cold January day, wishing that 5’oclock would come 8 hours early makes me sad. I never thought that I’d wish my time away. But when I take a step back, I’m simply wishing for time spent another way. Pretending to stare at e-mails like I care, filing things to fill the time, stressing about a typo in yesterdays report are not the things I want to make up my life.

I want sunsets watched from a breezy dock. I want cozy late nights baking and laughing with my baby sister. I want road trips to no where and everywhere, in search of the best strawberry milkshake. I want a candlelit table of friends, littered with empty wine glasses and bread crumbs.
I want a good relationship with an appreciative boss. I want fulfilling work and a comfortable work environment. I want to be financially stable, without having to negotiate between grocery shopping and a glass of wine with a friend. I want purpose. I want more hours for all the good stuff, and less of the not so great. I want my life, and no one else’s.

Sitting at my desk on a cold January day, watching the snow fall outside makes me realize I’m happy. These things are there for me, somewhere—today or down the line. They’re hiding in my pockets and in between my toes. They’re hiding in my inbox and under my nose. They’re there, showering down in big, white fluffy flakes. I just have to catch them as they fall.

PS - That's me. I told you I'd introduce myself this year. And today, it just felt right. Nice to meet you all.

Vegg-ed Out.

2011-01-24T07:42:00.000-08:00

A little late to be jumping on the healthy New Year's Resolution train, and a little early to be giving up chocolate (again) for lent, I'm chalking my new found healthy attitude up to a few wacky cravings.

This Sunday I had the day to myself--for the first time in a while. At first I paniced. How am I going to fill the hours? Then, before I knew it, I realized I was on one of the best dates I've had in a very long time--with myself!

Me and myself took a chilly walk to knock off a few errands and ended up coming home with (of all things) a box of quinoa.

I am by no means a vegetarian. Meat still holds a special place in my heart, and stomach. But, lately due to budgetary restrictions, some encouragement from a few fellow bloggesses, and a few strange cravings, I have started to incorporate more and more veg-only meals into my diet.

Yesterday's lunch consisted of roasted curry butternut squash and smoky paprika cauliflower served over quinoa (a protein-heavy grain). I topped the dish with some chopped almonds for crunch. It was one of the best things I've tasted in a very long time. I'm trying out the whole food photography thing, so please excuse the close up.

I am not here to tell you that vegetarianism is cool or hip or healthy or environmentally correct. But I do believe it is the easiest way to save a buck, a few calories, and some cholesterol points.

Now, anyone out there have another idea of what to do with the rest of my quinoa?

Lov-ed, Unconditionally.

2011-01-21T07:37:00.000-08:00

Why is it that we can be worst to the people we love best? This morning I woke up with a chip on my shoulder for no good reason. It was too warm in the apartment, my hair wasn’t cooperating, I had to wait a few extra minutes for roommate #2 to get out of the bathroom before I could brush my teeth.

And let me tell you, it was the end of the world.

I might as well have been a five year old who was told ‘no more candy.’ The pout came out, and I had to refrain from flailing my arms in a true hissy fit.

Unfortunately, my boyfriend gets the brunt of these moods. Maybe because we know that remarkably, no matter how awful we are, they’ll still love us. Perhaps because they are the only people we allow ourselves to be vulnerable around. But often, the people we love best, are the only ones who get to see our worst side.

So, dear, sweet, sweet boyfriend. My apologies. But please know that it’s just because I love you.

pic:weheartit

Dat-ed.

2011-01-20T11:41:00.000-08:00

Never underestimate the importance of ‘the date.’ In a longterm relationship, it is easy to get comfortable: to wear the same pajamas every night to bed, to eat your dinner of pasta and jarred sauce on the couch while watching Modern Family together (Wednesday nights on ABC at 9pm. Watch it.), to spend Saturdays at Bed, Bath & Beyond looking for closet organizers. Pretty soon, all of the little normal things that were so exciting to do together in the beginning--because even doing a joint load of laundry together was fun--now are just plain normal.

The remedy to normalcy, you ask? A date.

This morning, just as I was scarfing down my half of our toasted bagel, he proposed “on va boire un coup ce soir?” For those of you who don’t speak French, no, that was not a marriage proposal (we’re not even ready to live together, remember?). Instead, “let’s go get a drink tonight?” The idea of breaking out of our normal routine of home-cooked meal, movie, sleep was invigorating.

Now, it is 3pm. And all I can dream about is a glass of Pinot at a candlelit bar hightop, snuggling up to my beau, and talking about the couples around us in French.

What did you do on your last date night? I bet it was fabulous.

Google Reader-ed

2011-01-20T06:51:00.000-08:00

Last night I had a long overdue catch up happy hour with a very dear friend. We talked of blogs and life and dogs and vacation. All the good stuff. So, while we're on the topic of blogs and new years and resolutions, make it a new year's resolution to add these lovely blogs to your Google Reader immediately. And if you don't have a Google Reader account, you obviously haven't been wasting enough of your time.

Here are three fabulous blogs I catch up on every morning over coffee:

KERF - Kath Eats Real Food is a fun way to look at eating and living wholesomely. Follow Kath as she shares recipes, workout tips, and the ins and outs of opening a new branch of Great Harvest (amazing looking fresh breads) with her baker husband.

everyday musings - Love this girl's world. I wish my everyday musings looked like this. Well done, Olivia Rae. Someone please make her s'mores brownies and send me a few Express Mail.

The Daily Garnish - A daily dose of life as a runner, vegetarian chef, wife, and dog owner. Friends with KERF, she offers up really great veggie and vegan recipes to make even the most carnivourous eaters curious, like this yummy roasted eggplant dip.

There is plenty more where this came from. What are your favorite blogs? My GR could use a refresher.

pic: weheartit

Jealousy, admitted.

2011-01-19T09:40:00.000-08:00

Let's just get it out there, plain and simple. There are some people in life that you just want to be.

Literally, in the game of LIFE, if you pulled a 'swap career, salary, husband, children, family, wardrobe, smile, outlook on the world, etc.' card out of the deck, this would be the the person you'd trade everything with.

You know who I'm talking about: the sorority sister who never said a bad word about anyone. The one who never needed to be the center of attention, made everyone smile, and chose nursing as her profession because her passion was caring for others. The one who married the beyond handsome army liutenant before following him to the German countryside to start their life together....or, um, something like that...you get what I mean.

We all have at least one person that makes us green with envy. And yet, we admire them so much that our jealousy is never malicious. We'd just like to have a few of their traits, a couple of their days.

But you know what the really great thing is? To someone else out there, we're that person too.

Keep makin' them jealous, just the way you are.

Coupl-ed Up.

2011-01-19T09:19:00.000-08:00

There comes a point in every relationship when we must make some decisions. Some make them sooner than others. Some choose different paths, and different sequences of events. But the truth of the matter is, a decision must be made. And failure to make a decision almost inevitably results in a break-up.

Case #1: The Beginning.

Two dear friends recently made a big decision to tie the knot. We are very excited for them! After over two years together, the couple realized that it was now or well, now. Sometimes you just know.

Case #2: The End.

Two other friends just recently had to make the decision of re-location. Living and working in separate cities for over a year, the couples’ ultimatum was finally given: move near me, or move on. Unfortunately, they both decided to move on. Living in limbo was just not doable any longer.

But then there is case #3: The In Between.

A dilemma I am currently facing with the man in my life. Leases are coming due, plans are being set, but furniture is still being moved into two separate apartments. We are not yet ready to make the big decision to live under the same roof, even though we are more in love than ever. I have to admit that I liked the idea very much, but after some thought I realized that sometimes it pays to wait. And until then, I’m quiet comfortable in between.
What relationship decisions have you made lately? Was it a beginning, an end, or an inbetween?

pic: weheartit

Life, Slic-ed.

2011-01-17T12:51:00.000-08:00

Since the last time we spoke, I have changed jobs. I am now in a line of work that speaks to my strengths and my interests, which is very exciting! But as they say, "there's always something."

It's my boss. Now, by no means is she a mean horrible person. She is actually quiet pleasant when she wants to be. The dynamics of our relationship are difficult to explain, but it has left me on the verge of tears more days than I'd like to admit. Essentially, I am expected to be her subordinate, her teammate, and her psychologist all in one. I will admit, however, that I can be a sensitive soul. So what might send me reeling, might bounce off a thicker-skinned individual as a small set back.

That said, I just happened to stumble upon a very appropriate book in my parents library last weekend. "Don't sweat the small stuff...and it's all small stuff." It doesn't take more than a few minutes of flipping through this tiny coffee table book to grasp the basic concept.

I have often said that life is all about the little things. So, the next time something goes wrong, or you get upset, or your boss steps over the line, take a deep breath and imagine your life as a pie graph. How large of a slice would this situation represent? Probably a minimal percentage. Then, think of all of the other wonderful slices. Like I said before, it's all about perspective. Today, I sit sipping mint tea, listening to my Adele Pandora mix, and I think, this is a good slice.

pic: weheartit

Foo-ed.

2011-01-15T08:20:00.000-08:00

I have always wondered if I was born in the wrong era. Perhaps a time when chivalry was the law, or when ladies were courted and wooed would have been more appropriate for me. I am by no means a feminist, so the standard womanly roles of cooking, cleaning, and child-rearing would have suited me just fine. I really have no desire to sit behind a desk, typing out emails and pretending that I actually care for my boss. In an ideal world, my job would be to make delicious food for the people I love.

That said, perhaps this was the exact right time for me to have become a part of the world. The entire universe has suddenly become obsessed with food. It seems that more than half of the blogs out there are food-centric. We now have entire television channels devoted to the art of cooking, and currently some of the biggest stars in pop culture are celebrity chefs.

Has food become the new fashion? Eating the latest food trend--cupcakes, chocolate bacon, emulsified mushroom foam--is exactly that. Trendy.

Last night the boyfriend and I finally tried Mario Batali's newest culinary venture, Eataly. Trendy as always, he's created quite a revolutionary idea, incorporating a marketplace with several restaurants sectioned off by food type. We noshed on the finest Italian cheeses and meats, while sipping on fruit-forward, light red wines. This place is so trendy in fact, they can actually get folks (Americans, no less) to stand while they eat!

The boyfriend has learned that there is nothing sexier to me than good food and a smooth glass of wine. Screw fashion, perhaps food has become the new sex? Or maybe it always has been and we have finally entered an age of honesty.

Feed me, and I am yours forever.

2011, Resolv-ed.

2011-01-14T08:47:00.000-08:00

Cliche alert: new year, new me.

This blog has brought me so much joy in the past, and I really do miss it in my daily life. So, I've decided that I owe it to myself and to you readers (if you're really out there!) to return to the blogg-ed world.

Eleven has always been a favorite number of mine. Let's all agree that this year will have wonderful things in store for each of us.

First, in order to stick to my promise of being a fully dedicated blogger again, we have to get a few resolutions on paper so that you can hold me to them.

A few things I'd like to do here on the -ed chronicles that will require your help:

1. More pictures...of my own. No more of this clip art nonesense. If we have any great photographers out there who'd like to offer their expertise to a blogger still using a tiny point-and-shoot, I am all ears (and eyes, of course).

2. More frequent posts. There are only so many times that you will sit pressing the refresh button before you move on to get your blog fix elsewhere. If there's anything you'd like to see more of, or less of, or you'd just like to voice an opinion, please use the comment box! I love to hear from you. Honestly, you don't realize how excited I get when I see your comments in my inbox!

3. Build my reader-base. As much as this blog is for me, it is also to feel part of a community. There is nothing better than knowing you belong. So spread the word that the -ed chronicles is back and better than ever.

4. Properly introduce myself. I have yet to post a picture of myself, but I think if we're going to get to know each other better, I'm going to have to show face.

Thank you in advance for your love, support, and readership.

And now, on to the good stuff...

Stopp-ed at a Crossroad.

2010-12-07T07:04:00.000-08:00

Every once in a while, life brings out the flashing lights, waves its arms, and screams into the megaphone, "YOU ARE AT A CROSSROAD!!!"

As we all well know, life can be pretty discreet most of the time, hiding some of her biggest changes in a smile, a missed bus, or an exam score. Next thing we know, we're married to the smiler. Or we meet a very important stranger at the bus stop. Or we qualify for admission into a school we never expected to get in to and end up following a new life path. If life made us aware of how big every decision we make really was, existing would be pretty exhausting.

So, instead, she picks her moments. And these are the times times when she pulls out all the stops. For some reason, life decides this is a decision she's going to let you make. Perhaps to her, they are the small things. 'My lease is up, where will I live next?' To us, it's a huge decision. A decision involving contracts, and movers, and more money than we sometimes can afford. To her, this is a minor detail. Her work involves the little things that fill in all of the other moments of our existence.

So my round-about advice is enjoy the 'big' decisions because perhaps they are the smallest ones you'll make. And what seem to be the most insignificant ones--smiling at a stranger--could change the path of your life forever.

So, YOU ARE AT A CROSSROAD!! Life's little inside joke to make you feel important. No matter which path you take, it will all work out.

Smok-ed Apple Pie

2010-11-09T13:53:00.000-08:00

Sometimes I wish there was a purely healthy form of smoking. Is that weird? Perhaps as dangerous for your health as lighting a portable scented candle.

Standing on a chilly street corner, waiting for the bus, I think 'Wouldn't it be great to have something warm to puff on? Wouldn't it be sexy to be surrounded by a cloud that smells like cinnamon and cloves and apple pie? And in the next room I enter, everyone would take a deep breath--of me--and smell home?' There's no need for addictive chemicals or harmful additives; it would be like the perfectly ripe, juicy fruit in a world of sticky candy.

These apple pie cigarettes would of course only work in the winter. Who wants to puff on a garden stick in the middle of summer as sweat drips from their brow? Like mittens or earmuffs, the scented sticks would serve only as a means for warmth, company, and fragrance. Like a smokey perfume that passes the lonely hours by your side. Wouldn't that be nice?

Addict-ed to Love, and TV.

2010-11-08T12:05:00.000-08:00

So a few months ago, I signed up for a Netflix account. (I know, I know, I'm a little slow.) Ever since, the boyfriend and I have become complete junkies. So much so that last night, I took the next step and upgraded my account. It's a dangerous addiction.

Our main staple is, of course, the famed series, Mad Men. We have come to love Don Draper and his debonaire, alcoholic, chain-smoking ways. But, to make things worse, last night we discovered Dexter, the relatively ground-breaking series about a serial killer that choses his victims in the name of making the world a better place, essentially eliminating the bad guys one villian at a time. Though Dexter can be a somewhat dark and disturbing show, we are both now sucked in.

Surprisingly, last night's episode evoked a rather interesting thought. Dexter comes across a villian couple--two individuals who are in cahoots on a terrible human trafficking plan, but who also happen to be in love. Just before he kills and dismembers them, he poses this question: "How can two people as awful as you two still be in love with one another?" In rushed gasps they both mutter that they share the same dreams for their lives--in this case the dream was to obtain obscene amounts of money no matter what the cost--but the idea seemed to stick with me.

What if the reason a relationship works is because the mutual dreams line up with one another in such a way that a unified bond is undeniable. Like the way the proteins of DNA match up because their physical and chemical properties just seem to work with one another, what if we work with our romantic partner because all of the little nooks and cranies of our beings match up with theirs?

As a test, I asked: "What's your life dream, babe?"
In his characteristic simple eloquency, he responded, "I don't know, I'd like to just be happy. Doesn't really matter how, I just want love and happiness and a couple of kids."

Huh, maybe Dexter is onto something here.

Staycation-ed

2010-08-30T10:36:00.000-07:00

This weekend felt like a vacation. We ventured no further than a few miles from home, but I felt like I couldn't have been farther away from real life. Here are a few tips I used this weekend that may help to reproduce that staycation feel.

Find a really awesome staycation partner who is available all weekend (hint: boyfriends work perfectly for this).
Make a pact that you will only plan when it feels natural. No need to map out every detail of Sunday when it's only Friday afternoon. Minimal preparation may be required, but the minute planning feels exhausting, give it up. This especially pertains to the small, minute details. It doesn't really matter if you shower then have lunch, or have lunch then shower. You'll figure it out in the moment.
Incorporate family (or friends who feel like family) for part of a day. In our case we brunched and explored with mom and dad. It was the perfect way to introduce new conversation.
Do something active. Shoot some hoops, play a game of tennis, go for a walk. Doesn't matter what the activity is, you feel better when you get the blood moving.
Pick one day to forgo primping. Ladies, this means no makeup, no blow drying, just au naturale. Gentlemen, put down the razor.
Buy yourself something small, but special. I chose a new bag, he picked up a few pairs of work pants after I told him his butt looked even better than usual in khaki.
Cook. It doesn't have to be anything complex, but make sure to prepare at least one meal from scratch. Not only is it healthier for your body, it gives a great feeling of accomplishment and togetherness.
Snuggle, cuddle, bury yourself under covers.
Find at least one hour to be awake and a alone. Do whatever you like with that hour (read, go for a run, play that new game on your iPhone), but do not allow any interruptions.
Drink wine at lunch. No, I'm not promoting alcoholism or other unhealthy habits, but instead I'm endorsing any activity that feels special in it's own right.

Let me know how it goes next weekend.

pic: weheartit

Controll-ed Freak

2010-08-27T07:39:00.000-07:00

So a lot has happened since we last spoke. For one, I'm actually enjoying my job, which perhaps in part explains my blogging absence. It is amazing what a little recognition and an extra responsibility or two does for the morale.

I also have been working on a new mantra: Don't fight it.

In the past, I spoke about energy. I explored the idea that we only have a finite amount of force that we can dedicate to the world. Sometimes we unnecessarily spend energy on things we cannot control. I found that I was spending a lot of time and energy on trying to change a world that was built with me in mind. And believe it or not, life is pretty self-sufficient. You don't have to plan out every minute of every day because life will figure it out without any help from you.

But life can also be pretty cooperative. When you come up with a reasonable plan, it will allow you to take the reigns and make it happen. So, in essence, we just have to figure out where we want to use our energy, because life will take care of the rest.

This may be a bit of a weird stretch, but think of it like your respiratory system. Your lungs will continue to take in and exhale air regardless of whether you tell it to. But, you can also make a conscious effort to take a big calming breath.

Do not fight what you cannot control. But take control of what you can and use it to your advantage.

I'm sure this is the slogan of some 'take back your world' seminar that I am too cheap and too cynical to pay for, but I'm owning it and living it anyways.

There are so many times when I fight things that have not even happened yet or that will happen regardless of what I do.

Once you understand that sometimes there are things that you simply cannot change--and that this is okay, in fact, it is normal--you can go about changing those things that you can. Just accept that, for some reason or another, this world was made for you.

Tuck-ed away for a rainy day.

2010-08-26T08:25:00.000-07:00

A good friend just made a bold move to pick up her life and shift it to the West Coast in pursuit of sunshine, happiness and truth. A fellow blogger, and often the source of inspiration for -ed chronicle posts, she asked what had happened to my blog. The last post published in late June.

"I'm just kinda...happy." I replied.

When you think about some of the literature world's best known authors, one can conclude that happiness is not the best inspiration. It is rare that a masterpiece sprouts from bliss. Instead, one's best life work often is born from inner turmoil. Think Poe, Hemingway, van Gogh.

But, she offered an interesting thought. Happiness is a fleeting thing. An entity that changes with the seasons, the circumstances, the hour. It is important to preserve it in whatever form you can so that you can still find it in those moments it disappears.

What is it that makes you happy?

A feeling of accomplishment, acceptance, self-fulfillment? Coming home to a big smile and loving arms at the end of the day? Savoring the little things, without losing sight of the bigger picture? Whatever it is that makes up your version of bliss--save it. Tuck it away in a pocket for a rainy day. Because sometimes it's just as difficult to find as it is to keep.

Wishing you bliss, Thursday evening sangria and tapas, and everything you're looking for.

Review-ed.

2010-07-20T13:12:00.000-07:00

At work we're doing mid-year reviews. It's easy to look back on the past 6 months and pick out the trademark events that chart your progress professionally. Earned revenue, profit margin, inventory. Business is meant to be measured quantitatively. But how does one measure a personal life. In daylight, in sunsets, in midnights, in cups of coffee, in inches, in miles, in laughter in strife? (Rent reference).

I thought it might be a fun exercise to try. In the past 6 months...

1.   I have renewed a lease, signing on for another year in this magnificent city we call NYC.
2.   I said my first whispered 'I love you' to the number one man in my life.
3.   I made a trip back to my favorite country in the world, and climbed (in a cable car) to the highest point in Europe.
4.   I skied, I beached, I hiked, and I rollercoastered.
5.   I saw two friends wed, and one baby cousin born.
6.   I said goodbye to the best puppy there ever was.
7.   I lived through the best birthday party and worst hangover of my life.
8.   I witnessed my first grand slam. (Go Posada!)
9.   I enjoyed 5 days in paradise with 5 of the best friends a girl could have.
10. I learned that sometimes, you just have to have faith. And a cupcake.
11. I shared birthdays, paid visits to out of town friends, and encouraged the dreams of those around me.
12. I took the time to breath it all in because life really is measured in daylight, in sunsets, in midnights, in cups of coffee.

Take a mid-year life inventory. It's amazing how much you've done. Cheers to another brilliant six months!

I promise I'll be back again before then, though.

Balanc-ed in moderation.

2010-06-07T13:13:00.000-07:00

Ah, it is amazing what a restful weekend can do for the soul! Sometimes there is nothing sweeter than being in bed by midnight with tired legs, a fully tummy, and a happy heart.
Today productivity started strong, and lagged after lunch, though I don't feel bad about taking a little me time today. The attempted theme of this week is balance, what should be a life theme, I think. And so I will give myself some blog browsing time if it means I'll bang out the 30 grant payments waiting to be processed tomorrow morning. I will take the trip home tomorrow night for dinner with baby sis, and maybe fit in a tennis session to feed my need for a good run around before bed. I will skip the gym for a catch up session with the girls later this week. I often get lost in the 'need to do,' 'should really,' and 'wish I did's of life. It's time to recognize the 'sure, why not's.

It doesn't matter how many times it is said, we always forget that the to do list will be there tomorrow. A good life, like a good drink, should have equal parts sweetness, tart, and spice. May you be drunk with happiness this week. But remember, all in moderation.

Undecid-ed: Lame or Not?

2010-06-04T11:30:00.000-07:00

It's Friday evening and the greatest decision of the week stands before me.

Do I catch up on a sleepless and workout-less week of vacation with a long run, a dose of exploratory wandering in a new neighborhood in search of a good cup of coffee and a quiet spot in a corner cafe to do a little studying before stumbling home under the bright NY weekend sky to bed?

OR

Do I rally the troops, attend a small dinner party with friends and friends of friends which will inevitably turn into a drink party with dancing, joking, and general tom-foolery?

Essentially, do I spend the evening in my own company or in the company of others? It's a tricky answer. Some nights, a solo date is the perfect way to spend an evening, but other nights it can be disastrous for the human psyche.

The greatest decision of the week: to be lame or not to be lame?

pics: weheartit.

Peak-ed into the Future.

2010-06-03T13:46:00.000-07:00

As my plane landed last night, a sinking feeling began to grow in my stomach. A sinking feeling that it was over; that our vacation was coming to a close, and reality would tuck away all of the good things in life until the next time we hit the beach. And a sinking feeling that I'd never leave again, forgetting that I'm lucky enough to have another trip planned two weeks from now.

How do our brains have a way of making everything so final sometimes?

Today sitting at my desk, I had to remind myself there will always be a next new big thing. That just because one event, one experience, one day is over, it does not mean that there won't be an even better one to follow. There will always be something to look forward to, no matter how small. In fact, life isn't always about the big things. It's about the anxious feeling of cracking open a new notebook on the first day of class. It's about the dizzy laughter you share over crisp white wine on the first days of summer. It's about the hugs you get walking through the door back home.

Life's landscape is not a steady climb, but a jagged, twisting path dipping into valleys and soaring to the peaks above the clouds. The best climbers understand that there is just as much beauty in the valley as there is from the top.

Miscommunicat-ed.

2010-05-27T12:14:00.000-07:00

So this past week, the boyfriend and I have been preparing for a wonderful tropical getaway. There is, like with any trip, lots to be planned, plenty to be packed, and errands to be run. Of course I have a million questions and reminders for him, and he, as always, has encouraging words. However, the questions, reminders, and kind thoughts are never exchanged and so the annoyance with one another under minute stress begins to mount.

"Why won't he return my calls? Doesn't he know we have to make a plan?!"

"Why didn't she respond to my text?! I need to know how many bottles of sunscreen to pick up at the grocery store!"

In the chaos of preparation, our phones decided to stop communicating with one another. (Thank you, AT&T). I would send a text and he would never receive it. He would call three times, but my phone would never ring. So while we are both frantically running around getting ready for our Saturday departure, the annoyance of no communication grew larger and larger.

When we finally figured out the real reason neither of us had heard from one another, it was a bit of a relief.

You know the standard break up line: "It's not you, it's me?" I'd venture to guess that most of the time, "It's not you, and it's not me, it's really just the situation." Often we confuse being angry at the person with being angry at the situation.

I hope the boyfriend will remember this when we are rushing to the airport Saturday morning. Please remember it is not me that is crazy, it is the situation. It is the 3 cramped train rides it takes to get to the airport. It is the rushed removal of clothing and shoes as I tiptoe barefoot through security. It is the long lines and anxious holiday crowds, that make me crazy. It isn't me, it's the situation. I swear.

So next time you're angry with someone, stop and think. Is it the person or the situation you're angry at? Once you've determined that, you are free to take your agression out on the appropriate party.