Lov-ed, Unconditionally.

Why is it that we can be worst to the people we love best? This morning I woke up with a chip on my shoulder for no good reason. It was too warm in the apartment, my hair wasn’t cooperating, I had to wait a few extra minutes for roommate #2 to get out of the bathroom before I could brush my teeth.

And let me tell you, it was the end of the world.

I might as well have been a five year old who was told ‘no more candy.’ The pout came out, and I had to refrain from flailing my arms in a true hissy fit.

Unfortunately, my boyfriend gets the brunt of these moods. Maybe because we know that remarkably, no matter how awful we are, they’ll still love us. Perhaps because they are the only people we allow ourselves to be vulnerable around. But often, the people we love best, are the only ones who get to see our worst side.

So, dear, sweet, sweet boyfriend. My apologies. But please know that it’s just because I love you.

pic:weheartit

Miscommunicat-ed.

So this past week, the boyfriend and I have been preparing for a wonderful tropical getaway.  There is, like with any trip, lots to be planned, plenty to be packed, and errands to be run.  Of course I have a million questions and reminders for him, and he, as always, has encouraging words.  However, the questions, reminders, and kind thoughts are never exchanged and so the annoyance with one another under minute stress begins to mount. 

"Why won't he return my calls? Doesn't he know we have to make a plan?!"

"Why didn't she respond to my text?!  I need to know how many bottles of sunscreen to pick up at the grocery store!"

In the chaos of preparation, our phones decided to stop communicating with one another.  (Thank you, AT&T). I would send a text and he would never receive it.  He would call three times, but my phone would never ring.  So while we are both frantically running around getting ready for our Saturday departure, the annoyance of no communication grew larger and larger.

When we finally figured out the real reason neither of us had heard from one another, it was a bit of a relief. 

You know the standard break up line: "It's not you, it's me?"  I'd venture to guess that most of the time, "It's not you, and it's not me, it's really just the situation."  Often we confuse being angry at the person with being angry at the situation. 

I hope the boyfriend will remember this when we are rushing to the airport Saturday morning.  Please remember it is not me that is crazy, it is the situation. It is the 3 cramped train rides it takes to get to the airport.  It is the rushed removal of clothing and shoes as I tiptoe barefoot through security.  It is the long lines and anxious holiday crowds, that make me crazy.  It isn't me, it's the situation.  I swear.

So next time you're angry with someone, stop and think.  Is it the person or the situation you're angry at?  Once you've determined that, you are free to take your agression out on the appropriate party.