Empower-ed.

Today, I'd like to empower you.

Always wanted to write a book?  Put pen to paper.  Right now.
Dreaming of moving to Paris?  Start a job search (and maybe learn a few French phrases).  Today.
Have an idea for a new business?  Author a plan.  Now.

Unless we reach for our goals, they'll always remain just that - goals.

Where is this urgency coming from?  I just finished A Thousand Hills to Heaven, a novel recommended by my book club, that tells the tale of a young couple who move to Rwanda to further humanitarian efforts fighting poverty in the rural areas of the country.  "Heaven" in the title is actually an allusion to the first-class restaurant they start in Kigali, where they created jobs for young Rwandans, while also teaching skills not yet available elsewhere in the country. While they certainly experienced setbacks, heartaches and doubts, they continued to reach for their goals.  And, best of all, made the world a slightly better place because they kept at it.

It is hard not to be inspired by their story.  In fact, the boyfriend has now heard many versions of my plan to "save the world" as a result.  But, I think that is important: to want to save the world.   Even more significant is the reminder that sometimes it is possible.  If only we start today.

Spac-ed Out.

Photo from weheartit

Living in New York made me re-examine my ideas about the amount of space a person needs to live comfortably.  As a New Yorker, apartments are often likened to shoe boxes and "holes in the wall." 

On my starter salary, I was very lucky to find a two bedroom apartment on the very west side of Midtown West that I shared with a good friend.  Our kitchen fit neatly into a 4-foot hallway, our front door opened directly into our oven, and the toilet was uncomfortably close to the refrigerator.  We lived below a herd of dancing elephants, and had a mouse visit once or twice.  And we handled it all like pros.

A few years ago, I left the city and moved across the river to Jersey.  I love my new apartment, mainly because I get to share it with the Boyfriend and it is always filled with love.

But lately,  I find myself yearning for a little less hustle and bustle and a little more peace and quiet--hence the drive out to the 'burbs last weekend.

Growing up in the roomy suburbs, I had never really thought about the amount of space that was readily available to me.  I never doubted that I was lucky, but somehow, until moving into that first NY apartment, did I realize that, at least to me, space is important.  I'm not talking about a roomy living room or a spacious kitchen (though I'd like both of those), but more so about outdoor space--the ability to step outside and take a deep breath, go for a walk without worrying about stop lights and crosswalks and pedestrian traffic.

Maybe, just like a dog needs space to run off the leash, my mind needs some room to wander.  And so until I can find some space of my own, I'll settle for a drive out west and a day hike in the woods.

I'd love to hear your perspective.  Do you ever yearn for more space?   Or do you prefer the city life?

Life, Experienc-ed.

The boyfriend and I recently watched the much talked about documentary, Happy.  It was a truly thought-provoking film about what it means to be happy.  Some of it was scientific, citing domapine and other happy 'drugs' and some of it was experiential.  One of the most resonating tidbits that stuck with me is that the happiest people tend to consistently be those that to expose themselves to new experiences and continued learning.  It can be as simple as taking a different route home from work, or picking up a new book.  New experiences give us a rush and are more likely to produce the happy chemicals in our brains.

One of my favorite bloggers, Joanna Goddard, had the same reaction and has created a weekly 'Fall Challenges' series in which each week she challenges her readers to do or try something new.  This week was to give up TV (unfortunately, I failed miserably as the boyfriend and I are knee deep in a Game of Thrones marathon).

Similarly, at the beginning of this year, I had challenged myself to take one 'class' each month of 2012.  I can't tell you how rewarding the process has been. 

I've taken everything from new classes at the gym (Barre Method, Bikram yoga, Zumba) to a Food Discovery Tour of the Lower East Side.

This month's class was a Wine and Cheese course through Artisanal NYC.  We spent a wonderful two hours tasting cheeses, pairing them with wines and learning about the process and regions in which these cheeses are made.

I thouroughly enjoyed myself (though that could just be the wine talking...)  And I've officially decided this is a resoltion I will continue to uphold in 2013.  Experience is truly at the root of all happiness. 


Next up: Scuba lessons and a Knife Skills course

What new experiences have made you a happier person?  Any suggestions for classes I should take in 2013?

Mov-ed In.

This past July, the boyfriend and I moved in together. We took our time making the decision and agreed that when my lease was up, we'd find a place of our own.

When we were living apart (mind you, we weren't very far from one another), I felt like I was always planning out my life at least two days ahead.  I always had to think about what my days might look like, what weather was predicted, what activities we might do, and what I'd want for lunch two days from now.  Packing a bag every other night became a ritual. 

And I hated it.

I'm definitely the first to label myself a planner, but when you are always thinking about life two or three days from now, it's very hard to just wake up one morning and throw the plan out the window and live in the present.  Now, all of the logistics of who packs a bag and planning out the week have disappeared. 

A lot of people have opinions on living together before marriage.  And I can understand that.  However, I can firmly say that it was the best thing for our relationship.  Our evenings together are more relaxed than ever, preparing dinner together has never been more fun, and coming home to him every evening is a dream.

I simply write this for those that are hesitant to move in together simply because you're not yet married.  If it feels right, it may very well be.

wd~50~ed

Speaking of celebrating...

Naturally, we decided the only way to commemorate three years together was to share a 5 course meal of gastronomic wonders at wd~50, a restaurant that has been on my list for quite some time.  The quirky celebrity chef, Wylie Dufresne, is known for his molecular gastronomy techniques in the kitchen, so we couldn't wait to see what he came up with.

We started with a foie gras terrine that looked pretty normal at first glance. But, when we sliced into it, a sweet beet-blood red sauce oozed out onto the plate (symbolism?).  Mix that with the sweet pea 'soil,' a green dust that tasted just like snowpeas, and the candied olives (my favorite), and I'd say this was a pretty banging dish: creamy foie gras, sweet sauce and soil, and salty olives.

Next, came a pressure-cooked pine nut cassoulet with boudin blanc (pork and chicken sausage).  The flavors of this dish were so perfectly balanced, the boyfriend and I both commented we wished we'd had more.

Venison with freeze-dried polenta and an asian pear/fennel slaw was the perfect anchor to the meal.

Dessert featured a carmelized brioche, apricot foam, buttercream ribbon and a lemon thyme sorbet.  WD knocked it out of the park with this one.  I somehow refrained from licking my plate.

Lastly was a black sesame shortbread cookie that had concord grape sorbet hidden inside.  Unfortunately, by this point the cocktails (a delish vodka, guava, mint and champagne cocoction) had caught up with me and I forgot to take a photo.

I hope you enjoy these photos as much as we enjoyed our meal.  If you're ever in NY and looking for an interesting culinary experience, stop by wd~50.  If you're a foodie, you won't be disappointed.

Three Years, Celebrat-ed.

 

Can you believe it? The boyfriend and I just celebrated 3 years of togetherness.

 

Not that I find it all that shocking.  He is that oddly shaped puzzle piece that fits perfectly into all my twisted nooks and crannies. 

I often tell friends that I keep waiting for that newly 'wed' stage to slowly fade, for all the sweet unexpected kisses and giggly butterflies to somehow disappear and be replaced by routine and the dreaded feeling of knowing each other too well.  But, thankfully, we only seem to fall more perfectly in love together the more we explore our relationship together.

Three years is only the beginning.  I hope to have many more years of this bliss.

Thanks for the flowers and for spoiling me rotten every other day of the year, bab.

Soul Foo-ed.

What is it about eating outside in the elements that makes food taste so good?  This weekend, after a nice Saturday morning hike up the mountains of the Delaware Water Gap, the boyfriend and I broke for lunch.  We climbed out onto two rocks at the border of the Sunfish Pond and unwrapped our turkey sandwiches.  With each crusty bite, we alternated mmms and garbled “this is so gooooood.”

Maybe it was our primal instincts kicking in, maybe the added effort had peaked our appetites, or maybe there’s just something about the fresh air that enhances the taste of food.  But, without a doubt, that was the best dang turkey sandwich I’ve ever eaten.  And don’t even get me started on the fruit tart we gingerly carried in our backpacks and then devoured sans forks or napkins, licking our fingers and sucking up every last buttery crumb.

We trekked down the mountain with full bellies, lungs and hearts.  Sometimes all we need to feed our souls is a little fresh air, good company, and a turkey sandwich.

How was your weekend?

Pockets Empti-ed.

We went out for Hudson Restaurant Week on Friday and this happened...

Two martinis,
Two stuffed bellies,
Two hours spent philosophizing in French,
Two fuzzy heads,
And what felt like two hundred dollars later,
The two of us drove home.

The rest of the weekend was spent baking cookies, watching cute French romantic comedies, lunching with old friends, playing Wii tennis, and cuddling.  My version of bliss.

This week will be a busy one, filled with book club (though I haven't read the book), a dinner with the boyfriend and out-of-country guests, and wedding dress shopping with a special friend.  I'm looking forward to it all!  However, after such a lavish weekend, the wallet is a little light.

This week's challenge is to keep as many pennies in my pocket as possible.  We'll see how it goes. 

What are your best tricks for staying on a budget?

Lov-ed, Unconditionally.

Why is it that we can be worst to the people we love best? This morning I woke up with a chip on my shoulder for no good reason. It was too warm in the apartment, my hair wasn’t cooperating, I had to wait a few extra minutes for roommate #2 to get out of the bathroom before I could brush my teeth.

And let me tell you, it was the end of the world.

I might as well have been a five year old who was told ‘no more candy.’ The pout came out, and I had to refrain from flailing my arms in a true hissy fit.

Unfortunately, my boyfriend gets the brunt of these moods. Maybe because we know that remarkably, no matter how awful we are, they’ll still love us. Perhaps because they are the only people we allow ourselves to be vulnerable around. But often, the people we love best, are the only ones who get to see our worst side.

So, dear, sweet, sweet boyfriend. My apologies. But please know that it’s just because I love you.

pic:weheartit

Dat-ed.

Never underestimate the importance of ‘the date.’ In a longterm relationship, it is easy to get comfortable: to wear the same pajamas every night to bed, to eat your dinner of pasta and jarred sauce on the couch while watching Modern Family together (Wednesday nights on ABC at 9pm. Watch it.), to spend Saturdays at Bed, Bath & Beyond looking for closet organizers. Pretty soon, all of the little normal things that were so exciting to do together in the beginning--because even doing a joint load of laundry together was fun--now are just plain normal.

The remedy to normalcy, you ask? A date.

This morning, just as I was scarfing down my half of our toasted bagel, he proposed “on va boire un coup ce soir?” For those of you who don’t speak French, no, that was not a marriage proposal (we’re not even ready to live together, remember?). Instead, “let’s go get a drink tonight?” The idea of breaking out of our normal routine of home-cooked meal, movie, sleep was invigorating.

Now, it is 3pm. And all I can dream about is a glass of Pinot at a candlelit bar hightop, snuggling up to my beau, and talking about the couples around us in French.

What did you do on your last date night? I bet it was fabulous.

Coupl-ed Up.

There comes a point in every relationship when we must make some decisions. Some make them sooner than others. Some choose different paths, and different sequences of events. But the truth of the matter is, a decision must be made. And failure to make a decision almost inevitably results in a break-up.


Case #1: The Beginning.


Two dear friends recently made a big decision to tie the knot. We are very excited for them! After over two years together, the couple realized that it was now or well, now. Sometimes you just know.


Case #2: The End.


Two other friends just recently had to make the decision of re-location. Living and working in separate cities for over a year, the couples’ ultimatum was finally given: move near me, or move on. Unfortunately, they both decided to move on. Living in limbo was just not doable any longer.


But then there is case #3: The In Between.


A dilemma I am currently facing with the man in my life. Leases are coming due, plans are being set, but furniture is still being moved into two separate apartments. We are not yet ready to make the big decision to live under the same roof, even though we are more in love than ever. I have to admit that I liked the idea very much, but after some thought I realized that sometimes it pays to wait. And until then, I’m quiet comfortable in between.
What relationship decisions have you made lately? Was it a beginning, an end, or an inbetween?
 
pic: weheartit

Foo-ed.

I have always wondered if I was born in the wrong era.  Perhaps a time when chivalry was the law, or when ladies were courted and wooed would have been more appropriate for me.  I am by no means a feminist, so the standard womanly roles of cooking, cleaning, and child-rearing would have suited me just fine.  In an ideal world, my job would be to make delicious food for the people I love.

That said, perhaps this was the exact right time for me to have become a part of the world.  The entire universe has suddenly become obsessed with food.  It seems that more than half of the blogs out there are food-centric.  We now have entire television channels devoted to the art of cooking, and currently some of the biggest stars in pop culture are celebrity chefs.

Has food become the new fashion?  Eating the latest food trend--cupcakes, chocolate bacon, emulsified mushroom foam--is exactly that.  Trendy.

Last night the boyfriend and I finally tried Mario Batali's newest culinary venture, Eataly.  Trendy as always, he's created quite a revolutionary idea, incorporating a marketplace with several restaurants sectioned off by food type.  We noshed on the finest Italian cheeses and meats, while sipping on fruit-forward, light red wines.  This place is so trendy in fact, they can actually get folks (Americans, no less) to stand while they eat!

The boyfriend has learned that there is nothing sexier to me than good food and a smooth glass of wine.  Screw fashion, perhaps food has become the new sex?  Or maybe it always has been and we have finally entered an age of honesty.

Feed me, and I am yours forever.

Staycation-ed

This weekend felt like a vacation.  We ventured no further than a few miles from home, but I felt like I couldn't have been farther away from real life.  Here are a few tips I used this weekend that may help to reproduce that staycation feel.

1. Find a really awesome staycation partner who is available all weekend (hint: boyfriends work perfectly for this).
2. Make a pact that you will only plan when it feels natural.  No need to map out every detail of Sunday when it's only Friday afternoon.  Minimal preparation may be required, but the minute planning feels exhausting, give it up.  This especially pertains to the small, minute details.  It doesn't really matter if you shower then have lunch, or have lunch then shower.  You'll figure it out in the moment.
3. Incorporate family (or friends who feel like family) for part of a day.  In our case we brunched and explored with mom and dad.  It was the perfect way to introduce new conversation.
4. Do something active.  Shoot some hoops, play a game of tennis, go for a walk.  Doesn't matter what the activity is, you feel better when you get the blood moving.
5. Pick one day to forgo primping.  Ladies, this means no makeup, no blow drying, just au naturale.  Gentlemen, put down the razor.
6. Buy yourself something small, but special.  I chose a new bag, he picked up a few pairs of work pants after I told him his butt looked even better than usual in khaki.
7. Cook.  It doesn't have to be anything complex, but make sure to prepare at least one meal from scratch. Not only is it healthier for your body, it gives a great feeling of accomplishment and togetherness.
8. Snuggle, cuddle, bury yourself under covers.  
9. Find at least one hour to be awake and a alone.  Do whatever you like with that hour (read, go for a run, play that new game on your iPhone), but do not allow any interruptions.
10. Drink wine at lunch.  No, I'm not promoting alcoholism or other unhealthy habits, but instead I'm endorsing any activity that feels special in it's own right.  

Let me know how it goes next weekend.

pic: weheartit 

Miscommunicat-ed.

So this past week, the boyfriend and I have been preparing for a wonderful tropical getaway.  There is, like with any trip, lots to be planned, plenty to be packed, and errands to be run.  Of course I have a million questions and reminders for him, and he, as always, has encouraging words.  However, the questions, reminders, and kind thoughts are never exchanged and so the annoyance with one another under minute stress begins to mount. 

"Why won't he return my calls? Doesn't he know we have to make a plan?!"

"Why didn't she respond to my text?!  I need to know how many bottles of sunscreen to pick up at the grocery store!"

In the chaos of preparation, our phones decided to stop communicating with one another.  (Thank you, AT&T). I would send a text and he would never receive it.  He would call three times, but my phone would never ring.  So while we are both frantically running around getting ready for our Saturday departure, the annoyance of no communication grew larger and larger.

When we finally figured out the real reason neither of us had heard from one another, it was a bit of a relief. 

You know the standard break up line: "It's not you, it's me?"  I'd venture to guess that most of the time, "It's not you, and it's not me, it's really just the situation."  Often we confuse being angry at the person with being angry at the situation. 

I hope the boyfriend will remember this when we are rushing to the airport Saturday morning.  Please remember it is not me that is crazy, it is the situation. It is the 3 cramped train rides it takes to get to the airport.  It is the rushed removal of clothing and shoes as I tiptoe barefoot through security.  It is the long lines and anxious holiday crowds, that make me crazy.  It isn't me, it's the situation.  I swear.

So next time you're angry with someone, stop and think.  Is it the person or the situation you're angry at?  Once you've determined that, you are free to take your agression out on the appropriate party.