Empower-ed.

Today, I'd like to empower you.

Always wanted to write a book?  Put pen to paper.  Right now.
Dreaming of moving to Paris?  Start a job search (and maybe learn a few French phrases).  Today.
Have an idea for a new business?  Author a plan.  Now.

Unless we reach for our goals, they'll always remain just that - goals.

Where is this urgency coming from?  I just finished A Thousand Hills to Heaven, a novel recommended by my book club, that tells the tale of a young couple who move to Rwanda to further humanitarian efforts fighting poverty in the rural areas of the country.  "Heaven" in the title is actually an allusion to the first-class restaurant they start in Kigali, where they created jobs for young Rwandans, while also teaching skills not yet available elsewhere in the country. While they certainly experienced setbacks, heartaches and doubts, they continued to reach for their goals.  And, best of all, made the world a slightly better place because they kept at it.

It is hard not to be inspired by their story.  In fact, the boyfriend has now heard many versions of my plan to "save the world" as a result.  But, I think that is important: to want to save the world.   Even more significant is the reminder that sometimes it is possible.  If only we start today.

Change, Bloom-ed?

It is officially Spring and change is in the air.

I just had a very insightful conversation with a dear friend. She has a lot of change brewing in her life: an upcoming marriage, a cross-country move, and the beginnings of a new career (congrats on all 3, by the way, M). Here I am griping about my move 4 miles away (give me some credit, it’s to a different state!) and my jury duty summons.

I am usually one to make grand general statements like “we are creatures of habit; change is against our nature.” Or “change is ultimately the best medicine for a chronic ailment.” But, I believe both statements to be true. And so here is my grand general statement: “Life is a bit like a rubix cube with one square blank; it’s a challenge, and even when you think you have it all figured out…you’ll never know.” Encouraging, I know.

This past mother’s day, my madre had us out in the garden doing some minor landscaping. It always surprises me how much spring is the season of new beginnings and fresh perspective. Sure we may have to endure the rainy, muddy days to get there, but we know there will always be May flowers waiting for us when the sun comes out.

What mud have you treaded recently? Have your changes bloomed into everything you hoped for?
I hope so.

pic: weheartit

Stopp-ed at a Crossroad.

Every once in a while, life brings out the flashing lights, waves its arms, and screams into the megaphone, "YOU ARE AT A CROSSROAD!!!"

As we all well know, life can be pretty discreet most of the time, hiding some of her biggest changes in a smile, a missed bus, or an exam score.  Next thing we know, we're married to the smiler.  Or we meet a very important stranger at the bus stop.  Or we qualify for admission into a school we never expected to get in to and end up following a new life path.  If life made us aware of how big every decision we make really was, existing would be pretty exhausting.

So, instead, she picks her moments.  And these are the times times when she pulls out all the stops.  For some reason, life decides this is a decision she's going to let you make.  Perhaps to her, they are the small things.  'My lease is up, where will I live next?'  To us, it's a huge decision.  A decision involving contracts, and movers, and more money than we sometimes can afford.  To her, this is a minor detail.   Her work involves the little things that fill in all of the other moments of our existence.

So my round-about advice is enjoy the 'big' decisions because perhaps they are the smallest ones you'll make.  And what seem to be the most insignificant ones--smiling at a stranger--could change the path of your life forever. 

So, YOU ARE AT A CROSSROAD!!  Life's little inside joke to make you feel important.  No matter which path you take, it will all work out.

Controll-ed Freak

So a lot has happened since we last spoke.  For one, I'm actually enjoying my job, which perhaps in part explains my blogging absence.  It is amazing what a little recognition and an extra responsibility or two does for the morale. 

I also have been working on a new mantra: Don't fight it.

In the past, I spoke about energy.  I explored the idea that we only have a finite amount of force that we can dedicate to the world.  Sometimes we unnecessarily spend energy on things we cannot control.  I found that I was spending a lot of time and energy on trying to change a world that was built with me in mind.  And believe it or not, life is pretty self-sufficient.  You don't have to plan out every minute of every day because life will figure it out without any help from you.

But life can also be pretty cooperative.  When you come up with a reasonable plan, it will allow you to take the reigns and make it happen.  So, in essence, we just have to figure out where we want to use our energy, because life will take care of the rest.

This may be a bit of a weird stretch, but think of it like your respiratory system.  Your lungs will continue to take in and exhale air regardless of whether you tell it to.  But, you can also make a conscious effort to take a big calming breath.

Do not fight what you cannot control.  But take control of what you can and use it to your advantage.

I'm sure this is the slogan of some 'take back your world' seminar that I am too cheap and too cynical to pay for, but I'm owning it and living it anyways.

There are so many times when I fight things that have not even happened yet or that will happen regardless of what I do.

Once you understand that sometimes there are things that you simply cannot change--and that this is okay, in fact, it is normal--you can go about changing those things that you can.  Just accept that, for some reason or another, this world was made for you.

Thought, Challeng-ed.

Last night I attended the second meeting of my newly founded book club, which I must say is quickly becoming the highlight of my social calendar.  It is a rare occasion that a group of women in their twenties can get together and inspire stimulating conversation that does not include an evaluation of whether or not 'he's just not that into you.'  (The minute someone suggests that book, I'm out!)

Anyway, this month's pick was a novel by Kathryn Stockett, The Help, which tells the story of three women living in Jackson, Mississippi, during the brink of the civil rights movement.  Two black maids and one white wanna-be journalist tell a heart-warming story about what it's like to live on the outside of social norms. I highly recommend it for its innovative treatment of a frequently visited topic and for its general humanistic appeal.

Throughout our discussion, the topic of activism vs. progressive came up (quite appropriate for the week of MLK's birthday).  We struggled to define both terms and essentially came up with the following:

• An progressivist is a forward thinker, someone who challenges the status quot, but does not take action to change the behaviors of others.
  

• An activist is one who takes a stand for his/her beliefs and works to change the attitude or behavior of others in order to reach a goal.

A ring of women sitting on couch pillows in a Manhattan apartment suddenly began to judge themselves.  Could any of them even consider themselves progressivists?  What were they doing in a world, that although changed since the time period of the current month's book selection, still harbors inequality in tiny pockets across its surface?  Sometimes we forget that just because we're one, we can't join together to create many.

What would you do if you had the power of many?

Chang-ed.

No one will ever change enough to love a different way.