Sometimes I wish there was a purely healthy form of smoking. Is that weird? Perhaps as dangerous for your health as lighting a portable scented candle.
Standing on a chilly street corner, waiting for the bus, I think 'Wouldn't it be great to have something warm to puff on? Wouldn't it be sexy to be surrounded by a cloud that smells like cinnamon and cloves and apple pie? And in the next room I enter, everyone would take a deep breath--of me--and smell home?' There's no need for addictive chemicals or harmful additives; it would be like the perfectly ripe, juicy fruit in a world of sticky candy.
These apple pie cigarettes would of course only work in the winter. Who wants to puff on a garden stick in the middle of summer as sweat drips from their brow? Like mittens or earmuffs, the scented sticks would serve only as a means for warmth, company, and fragrance. Like a smokey perfume that passes the lonely hours by your side. Wouldn't that be nice?