"Sometimes I can hear my bones straining under the weight of all the lives I'm not living." - Jonathan Safran Foer
If you have not read Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close please stop what you're doing and hunker down in Barnes & Noble with a Venti non-fat vanilla latte until you've read all 368 pages (don't panic, it has pictures!) A boy I once thought way too much about gifted it to me and I gobbled it up on one 3-hour plane ride. I no longer think much about the boy, but the book has left an unshakable impression on me.
Like the fire-red imprint of the hand on the front cover, it seems this one line has seared a permanent thought onto my brain. The thought weighs on my existence more heavily every day and I fear if I don't find a way to forget it, my bones will crack under the pressure of not enough.
Why is it that no matter what we're doing, we question what it would be like to be doing something else? I have a job, but the thrills of unemployment beckon. I am a city girl, but the lazy country life might suit me better. I am single, but wouldn't it be nice to settle down?
There are so many things I'm not doing. So many places I'm not going. So many people I'm not meeting.
So many lives I'm not living...how will the one I am living ever be enough?