Replac-ed.

Today marks the first day of Lent, which for me, as in years past, marks the first of 40 days without chocolate. 

Though I understand that not everyone practices Lent, I believe self-restraint is something worth testing from time to time.  

What is your vice?  Is it facebook? diet coke? wine?

Give it up…just for today.  And even better, replace it with something you wish you did more frequently.  Log out of facebook and write a blog post instead.  Put down the coke can and chug a bottle of water.  Stick the cork back in the wine bottle and take a jog during happy hour.  As for me, I’ll be replacing chocolate with green or herbal tea.  

You know that old saying about breakups?  The best way to get over someone is to get under someone else.  It applies here too.  Replace a bad habit with a better one and you’ll lessen the separation anxiety.  

Especially if you ate nearly this entire box of chocolate covered strawberries last night...

Believ-ed in You.

Why is it that sometimes we can have so little faith in ourselves?

We know we've done it a million times before, but we trust that this time will be the one we mess up.  We know ourselves better than anyone else ever will, yet we often trust other's opinions more than our own.

We pray, and repent, and ask for help, but what we fail to realize is that we can do anything, if we just have faith.

I have faith in you.

Do you?

Vegg-ed Out.

A little late to be jumping on the healthy New Year's Resolution train, and a little early to be giving up chocolate (again) for lent, I'm chalking my new found healthy attitude up to a few wacky cravings.

This Sunday I had the day to myself--for the first time in a while.  At first I paniced.  How am I going to fill the hours?  Then, before I knew it, I realized I was on one of the best dates I've had in a very long time--with myself!

Me and myself took a chilly walk to knock off a few errands and ended up coming home with (of all things) a box of quinoa. 

I am by no means a vegetarian.  Meat still holds a special place in my heart, and stomach.  But, lately due to budgetary restrictions, some encouragement from a few fellow bloggesses, and a few strange cravings, I have started to incorporate more and more veg-only meals into my diet.

Yesterday's lunch consisted of roasted curry butternut squash and smoky paprika cauliflower served over quinoa (a protein-heavy grain).  I topped the dish with some chopped almonds for crunch.  It was one of the best things I've tasted in a very long time.  I'm trying out the whole food photography thing, so please excuse the close up.

I am not here to tell you that vegetarianism is cool or hip or healthy or environmentally correct.  But I do believe it is the easiest way to save a buck, a few calories, and some cholesterol points. 

Now, anyone out there have another idea of what to do with the rest of my quinoa?

Strung out and start-ed anew

A few realizations I came to this past week:

1. I need one weeknight to take a 'me' break: organize paperwork, spend time reading on the couch, try out a new recipe, have a special dinner with the lovely roommate, etc.  As much as I love a great weeknight workout to unwind, a day off does me a lot of good.
2. I need to stop asking too many 'big' questions at once: thoughts about the future tend to snowball.  Though it's important to ask these questions sometimes, I need to avoid overwhelming myself so often and spend more time enjoying the present. 
3. Dance parties are good for the soul: this weekend a few girlfriends and I turned on some '80s music after a dinner of margaritas.  We jumped around, waving our arms and tapping our feet like pre-teens at a Jonas Brothers concert.  What sweet release it was!

And now, looking back at my realizations, I realize that perhaps the string is wound just a little too tight.  I know I've been trying to slowly unwind, but maybe it's time to cut the string and start anew.

Snip, snip.

Trust-ed.

Sometimes we all need a mental health day.  A day to dump all of our thoughts out on the table, sort through them and only let the good ones back in.

If I ever needed one, today would be the day.  For some reason, my brain switch turned on last night.  You know the switch that all of a sudden causes your mind to run a million miles a minute, carrying frantic questions from one side to another, bouncing off the sides of your skull before landing on your tongue and bursting into language?  Next thing you know, you're asking questions like "where do you see us two years from now?" and "will it ever feel like it's enough?"

And the truth is, when we ask these questions, no answer is ever going to be the right one.  Because the truth isn't enough: "I love you." and "I don't know."  And a lie is a lie. 

If only we could learn to let life live, without questioning every next step.  If only we could unload all of the anxious thoughts and nagging questions, turn off the switch, and trust it.

pic:weheartit

Puzzl-ed.

Sometimes I feel like life is a puzzle with too many pieces.

pic: weheartit

Chipp-ed, Crack-ed, Crumbl-ed.

A wise (and fabulously spectacular) woman I know reminded me this morning that it's important to "Always remember you're you regardless of the other people around you."  We were discussing relationships and how positively terrifying they can be at times.  Imagine letting someone else in, depending on them, caring for them, (deep breath) even loving them, only to find that they aren't about to stick around.
  
Then what happens?  If we're lucky, we survive with minor chips and cracks.  Like water that freezes in the crevices of an old concrete sidewalk, we expand with the presence of others.  When spring comes and they melt away at the first sight of warm sunlight, we're left with cracks and holes.  Cracks and holes that will eventually be filled in with moss and inevitably the frost of the next winter.  Every once in a while, we crumble completely, leaving behind only particles of sand from the strong, solid block we were before.  But no matter what state we end up in after a hard winter, we still exist. You're still you.  Sure, the elements have taken their toll, but there is never a spring that arrives when we can't somehow make the necessary repairs.

Though through the winter, the ice seems adhered to the sidewalk as if they were one in the same, it is important to recognize that they are in fact separate elements.  When the ice melts, the sidewalk remains.  When a relationship melts, the most important parts are still intact.  In essence, you're you regardless of the relationship you're in, the friends you associate with, the family that supports you.  The people and situations around you will always change, but you can handle anything as long as you believe it's possible.

Often we forget this simple adage.  We're so afraid of letting anyone in, in fear that one day the ice will melt and leave us broken beyond repair. We forget that one day, too, the pulverized particles of sand left from the crumbled concrete might wash away and be at peace at the depths of the sea.