Baffl-ed.

When I was in 5th grade, my English teacher gave the class an assignment to make a list of 10 things that we didn’t understand. Even at the time, I remember thinking it was a really cool project. Here were a few of the things on my list:

I don’t understand…

1. How music is recorded and played back on a CD.

2. How everything fits and works together in your body.

3. How the universe can be infinite. Actually, I don’t understand infinity, in general.

4. Black holes.

5. How language began.

Ironically, most of what I didn’t understand back then remains a mystery to me today.

For some reason, photography makes slightly more sense to me than music. A light reflection collected on film is something I can understand. But how sound vibrations are collected on a shiny plastic disk and played back to make up the nuances of a piano solo or a jazz singer’s voice is beyond my comprehension.

The complexity of the human body baffles me. Even more mind boggling is the fact that something so familiar to each one of us, still remains one of the least understood (and most abused) things in our physical realm.

The idea that there is no end to something—that if we were to reach out in any direction for light years, we would never find an edge—is something I imagine none of us will ever truly understand.

Black holes. Enough said.

Essentially how any concept begins (language, numbers, math, etc.) is fascinating to me. Who was the caveman who first decided that the objects we put into our mouths would be called ‘food’? And further, who was the first guy to think ‘hey, I should eat this!’ Was it all a chain reaction? Caveman #1 eats something, he feels better, so he decides he needs to tell caveman #2 to eat it too. How do I do that? Well, perhaps I’ll make some noises and gesture. And so, language was born? That’s just the way I imagine it, but I think you get the point. The beginning of anything is fascinating.

After some consideration, I’ve come up with a theory--because it is human nature to want to understand everything around us. Perhaps there are so many open-ended questions left unanswered so that there would be purpose for life. If every answer was apparent, there would be no reason to explore, to challenge, to experiment. It gives us something to do with our approximately 70 years on Earth. God left us a puzzle with an infinite number of pieces so we’d stay busy.

What piece do you think you’re in charge of? What don’t you understand?

If God call-ed You, what would he say?

I think if God were to ever write me a letter, it would be short.  I mean, I know the guy has all the time in the universe, but he's busy negotiating the saving of souls and stuff.

So, I imagine my letter to go something like this:

"It's all good. Love, G."

And just as I'm about to tuck the folded letter into my pocket for safe keeping, I'd notice an ink smudge on the corner.  In my cynical mind, I'd think:

'Seriously, God?'

As I wiped it away with my thumb, a new message would appear under my touch...

"Trust me."

Believ-ed in You.

Why is it that sometimes we can have so little faith in ourselves?

We know we've done it a million times before, but we trust that this time will be the one we mess up.  We know ourselves better than anyone else ever will, yet we often trust other's opinions more than our own.

We pray, and repent, and ask for help, but what we fail to realize is that we can do anything, if we just have faith.

I have faith in you.

Do you?

Re-Lent-ed.

The countdown has begun.  Fourty-five days from today, I will be lounging on a beach chaise, tropical rum punch in hand, boyfriend, good book, and good friends by my side. 

Fourty-five days seems like forever, but it also is the perfect amount of time to focus on sculpting the bikini body I picture in those beach dreams of mine.  Yesterday began lent #2, except this time I'm not sacrificing for God, I'm sacrificing for me, which ironically is a bit more difficult.  After overdosing on chocolate post-Easter, I've decided to give up sweets and junk food of all kinds, promising myself a good workout at least 4-5 days a week.  Though it's a bit of a vain project, I know it will help me think, move, and feel better.

During my project, I've quickly realized what is effective and what simply won't work.  It is essential to set a goal, lay out the exact parameters, and challenge yourself to meet the goal.  Without a conscious effort, nothing can be achieved.

It's also important to track your progress.  An analysis of how you're doing serves as great motivation to keep going.  So on that note, I've started using the Self Magazine food/workout log to track my caloric intake and burn.  I highly recommend signing up. (It's free and easy!) 

What are your springtime resolutions?

Ah, spring, what a perfect time to eat like a rabbit.

Lov-ed you ever since.

I'd wish upon a star, but none as bright as you.
I'd wish upon an hour, but none of them will do.
I'd pluck a flower, but none smell as sweet.
I'd give you my forever, but you know its yours to keep.

What gift is left to give,
To the man made of dreams?
When all that's left to give,
is what's left of me.

I'd say a little prayer, but God already knows.
I'd tell you a story, but you know how it goes.
I'd kiss a million frogs, but you're the only prince.
I loved you from the start, and I've loved you ever since.

Luck-ed out

I'm blessed to have fantastic friends.  Without hesitation, I can state that I have a shoulder to cry on, a hand to hold, a lended ear, and an eye watching my back--and all of these don't necessarily belong to the same body.  Often times life doesn't feel like it's happening unless we have someone to share it with--kind of like the "if a tree falls in the forest, does it make a sound?" theory, I wonder, "if there isn't a friend to laugh at your jokes, are they funny?  if there wasn't a friend to wipe away your tears, would you cry?"

Friends are the pieces of reality that make life feel like a dream.  Undoubtedly, we all feel lucky to have these people in our lives; however finding those friends may not involve as much luck as we think it does.  A few years ago, I read a book called Many Lives, Many Masters by Dr. Brian Weiss.  I highly recommend it for anyone who has ever thought about the existence of multiple lives, and anyone who has ever tried to explain a higher being in a less than traditional sense.

Essentially, the one idea that I took away from the book, was the idea that certain souls travel together from one life to the next.  We have all, at one point or another, felt we've known someone forever upon first meeting them.  That feeling of having already spent a lifetime with someone before is explained simply--perhaps you have.

Now, the last thing that I care to do is to make a firm statement of what I believe to be the truth.  Because I can't say for sure exactly what I believe.  But I do want to make you think, to question all the things that you already question, and then question them again.  If only to make you appreciate it all a little bit more.

It may not have been luck that led you to find your best friends, but you sure are lucky to have them.

pic:weheartit

RSVP-ed

During this time of year, I often think about the overwhelming presence of hope and faith and belief that seems to float heavily in the air.  Though sometimes I find myself a little intimidated by the thought of believing in something bigger than me, I have to remind myself that a belief is actually the most liberating experience one can have because in fact it is so personal, so unique. I have to admit I've never been much of a religious person, but during my brief stint with yoga practice, I found the closest thing to a spiritual awakening I've ever experienced.  Somewhere between downward dog and pretzel pose I had a vision.

A woman with long brown wavy hair floated naked down a river, propelled by the soft current of a waterfall.  Her hair radiated around her face in a mane of soft waves and her naked breasts soaked up the brilliant sun beaming down from the heavens.  The coolness of the water and the warmth of the sunlight created the perfect temperature, the perfect balance.  Comfort.  She lay, floating, the universe holding her up and beaming down upon her all at once.  Never before had she known such peace.  So exposed, so bare, so human.  There she laid waiting.

This vision drifted through my open mind during one of these yoga sessions.  I remember interrupting my dream to switch into a new position, but as soon as I settled in, the vision came rushing back.

What was she waiting for?  It was like a cliffhanger that played on loop.  The harder I searched for an explanation, the further away it felt.  Then, as I sunk deeper into lotus pose, I found my answer.

She was waiting for God.

I’m not sure what this vision was supposed to mean: if it was a reflection of myself and my pursuit for spiritual guidance, or if it was a sweat-induced daydream of a woman at peace, constructed to ease my weary mind and muscles.  Whatever the purpose of the vision, it remains ingrained in my soul.  Every so often something in my life will bring this vision to the forefront of my mind; flipping through the latest Oprah magazine in the doctor’s office, drumming my thumbs on the steering wheel as I wait for the light to turn green.  Sometimes I feel like I’m the woman, floating in a world of chaos, waiting on Him to show up--as if I’m the hostess of a dinner party and He is my last guest to arrive.  I can’t seem to remember if He’s RSVPed, but I’ve set a place setting for Him anyway.  This is how I think of my God.  I’m not quite sure if He’s coming, or if He’s already arrived, but I’ll wait for Him anyway.  Because that’s what good hostesses do.

pic: weheartit

Distanc-ed.

I think the worst thing God ever invented was distance.

pic: weheartit