Never underestimate the importance of ‘the date.’ In a longterm relationship, it is easy to get comfortable: to wear the same pajamas every night to bed, to eat your dinner of pasta and jarred sauce on the couch while watching Modern Family together (Wednesday nights on ABC at 9pm. Watch it.), to spend Saturdays at Bed, Bath & Beyond looking for closet organizers. Pretty soon, all of the little normal things that were so exciting to do together in the beginning--because even doing a joint load of laundry together was fun--now are just plain normal.
The remedy to normalcy, you ask? A date.
This morning, just as I was scarfing down my half of our toasted bagel, he proposed “on va boire un coup ce soir?” For those of you who don’t speak French, no, that was not a marriage proposal (we’re not even ready to live together, remember?). Instead, “let’s go get a drink tonight?” The idea of breaking out of our normal routine of home-cooked meal, movie, sleep was invigorating.
Now, it is 3pm. And all I can dream about is a glass of Pinot at a candlelit bar hightop, snuggling up to my beau, and talking about the couples around us in French.
What did you do on your last date night? I bet it was fabulous.
Showing posts with label romance. Show all posts
Showing posts with label romance. Show all posts
20.1.11
30.3.10
Shar-ed the Love.
The boss is out and I've been taking advantage of the free time to obsessively check my Google Reader feed.Who knew that my dream job was waiting for me just around the next cyber link? I've always wondered, how could I (realistically) combine travel, food, writing, and romance into one career that--and here's the key part--I could actually get paid for. The only solution I kept coming to was a sugar daddy.
But, it looks like CNN has found it for me--a professional honeymoon tester. Travel to luxury, exotic locals with your other half, write up a review, and move on to the next hotel suite, Mai Tai in hand. Yes, please!
I have a hard time believing this is actually a real deal, so if you have another solution for me, or encouraging words to go ahead with the webcast application and start convincing Frenchie to quit his job, I'm all ears.
In the meantime, show me your love by spreading the love. The more readers I have, the closer I am to my goals. Would you be so kind as to pass this link on to a friend who hasn't yet experienced the -ed chronicles? Because, after all, we're all in search of something...
pic: weheartit
9.2.10
Doom-ed.
I am a hopeless romantic.
Why all romantics are labeled “hopeless?” Would pragmatists then be labeled "hopeful?" Is it really the truth that if one is romantic at heart, he is destined for a dreary future—-a life of gray and predictable dullness? That's seems a bit backwards. Wouldn't you expect that the romantics are the one's who have hope--hope that one day the world (or at least their world) will be filled with love? And not just love, romance, love twisted and folded into poetry and Valentine's cards and rendez-vous in dark cafe corners.
Is it hopeless to believe that flowers were meant to be given? That the lips' second and sweetest function is to be kissed? That chocolate should always come in little red, heart-shaped boxes?
Is it hopeless to love nothing better than to catch him looking at you across the room? To want to exclaim to the world that you've finally found what everyone else spends their life looking for?
Well, if it is hopeless, then I'm happy to be doomed.
pic: weheartit
Labels:
chocolate,
flowers,
holidays,
love,
relationships,
romance,
valentine's day
27.1.10
Romance, Tim-ed out.
Some evenings I sit with every intention of writing. The birds chirp outside as the smell of fresh rain wafts in through my bedroom window. I wait, and the words never come. Perhaps it is the idea of a computer that bothers me. Though it allows one to be more prolific—one’s hand can only move so fast—it does not have the romance of a large, loopy script scrawled on thick card stock. The clicking of the keys does not lend itself to the musical ear, nor does the blue glow from the screen do much for the aesthetic appeal of the pastime. I picture the ladies of old who would sit down at their writing desk, dip their quills in the thick dark ink pot and begin a brilliant letter with no other intention than to invite their neighbor to dinner. How formal life was then. We’ve done away with formality in exchange for productivity. A few hundred years ago, a woman would not dream of going down for breakfast until she had been laced into her corset. Even a few decades ago, leaving the house without a proper hat was a major faux pas. Today we go to the grocery store in pajamas and Ugg boots. Though I appreciate the opportunities time has granted for a woman such as myself, I also long for the days when life was simpler...and a little more romantic.
pic: weheartit
30.12.09
Imagin-ed.
"Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence." -- H.L. Mencken
What an interesting thought, dear Mencken. I considered this for a while and decided I surely agree. Love requires the ability to look at things through a rose colored glass. If we were only capable of seeing the hard facts, love would never be possible. Love is not something to be analyzed, or synthesized, or measured. Love is something to be created, enjoyed, and shared. Though without the great intelligent thinkers of our world we would lack some of our greatest conveniences (electricity, automobiles, the concept of gravity), without the great lovers of the world we would have nothing.
In essence, I'd rather live in a fairy tale for the rest of my life than be the smartest one in reality. Bring on the fantasy, the once upon a time, the imaginary world of beautiful, sweet, tender love. You can take your calculus and your literary analysis and your physics. As yet, there is no formula in chemistry that produces more happiness than love. So keep your algebra, your rocket science, your botany, your astronomy. I'll take the love...even if it is all a dream.
pic: weheartit
What an interesting thought, dear Mencken. I considered this for a while and decided I surely agree. Love requires the ability to look at things through a rose colored glass. If we were only capable of seeing the hard facts, love would never be possible. Love is not something to be analyzed, or synthesized, or measured. Love is something to be created, enjoyed, and shared. Though without the great intelligent thinkers of our world we would lack some of our greatest conveniences (electricity, automobiles, the concept of gravity), without the great lovers of the world we would have nothing.
In essence, I'd rather live in a fairy tale for the rest of my life than be the smartest one in reality. Bring on the fantasy, the once upon a time, the imaginary world of beautiful, sweet, tender love. You can take your calculus and your literary analysis and your physics. As yet, there is no formula in chemistry that produces more happiness than love. So keep your algebra, your rocket science, your botany, your astronomy. I'll take the love...even if it is all a dream.
pic: weheartit
Labels:
bliss,
intelligence,
life,
love,
relationships,
romance
26.10.09
Hook-ed, Lin-ed, and Sinker-ed.
I believe there are a few stages to the beginnings of every legit courtship. Like all matters of the heart, things get messy and we play out of turn, but I believe these couple steps stand true for most, well, couples.
- Stage 1: The Hook - Don't you love that gut feeling that tells you there's something worth exploring about a person (his smile, his corny jokes, his manners, etc.)? The hook is not something we can plan to find (or try to ignore, for that matter..thanks, Nature!), it is simply the biological/psychological/sociological response our body and minds have to another human being. It's beyond explanation, and it is unavoidable. And then, I think we all know what comes next...
- Stage 2: The Game - Just admit it. Once you realize you're attracted to someone, you initiate the game. Whether we like it or not, we all do. Some have better game than others, but the fact of the matter is that we all play at some point. The minute we get hooked on someone, we go into strategy mode. How long do I wait to call her? When do I let him kiss me? What cute little thing am I going to do to make him think I'm the best thing since pumpkin beer? Whatever you have to do to get to step 3, we do it...and then comes...
- Stage 3: The Mutual Confession - From a very young age, we are taught the "Do you like me? Circle yes or no" trick. It's an easy way to set expectations up front and prevent wasting our time on someone who is not even the slightest bit interested in us. In a way, it is a method of self-preservation. Sometimes the confession is just that: a direct "I like you...what do you think?" type deal. Other times it is more subtle. We use different words and gestures to accomplish the same goal (think arm graze, lingering stare and sometimes a 'kiss and run' tactic). However it is accomplished, we cannot proceed until these first three steps have been taken.
- Stage 4: The Discovery - Now that we've established I like you, and (hallelujah!) you like me back, I want to know everything about you, and for you to know everything about me. You know what I'm talking about...the three hour dinners where you make broad statements about your past and your preferences "Have I told you about how I broke my arm in second grade? I've always been uber-athletic" and "I like vanilla so much better than chocolate, but I'm no plain Jane." You've told these stories to a dozen others in exactly this same setting, but for some reason, that story about your trip to Europe is brand new again. And what's even better is, they're hooked! You might as well be telling them the surprise ending to that new Flash Forward show. They are completely enamored. Not only do you verbal diarrhea all over each other (sorry for the graphic mental picture), you have to discover every inch of each others' bodies too. It's not good enough just to hold hands, you have to trace the outline of his fingers; kissing his lips isn't good enough, you have to taste his neck, his ears, his cheeks. And oh, those first few delicious kisses where you're not entirely sure of his next move, which in turn makes you hyper-aware of yours. Life couldn't get any better when we're discovering new territory. And as it goes with any unclaimed territory, we eventually need to leave our mark...
- Stage 5: The Decision - Now it's time to face the facts. Up until this point everything has been one giant (more or less painless) social experiment. And now it's time to evaluate the results. We're hooked, we engage in a game of flirtation, we admit that we're enjoying ourselves, we divulge personal information and seek information in return, and now we have to decide whether it's worth it to continue onto the next step. Sometimes this decision is easy: Heck no! (my best friend hates him, I can't stand the way he snorts when he laughs, he releases deadly farts in his sleep, etc.) And even though this decision doesn't always present itself so clearly, the decision to stop at stage 5 is the easier one. Trust me. The harder part comes when we decide that we want to enter into (cue 'Twilight Zone' theme song) STEP 6. Because this is when things no longer are as cut and dry. There is no rule book. All of a sudden someone has cut the lights and we're fumbling around in the dark because no one ever exactly tells us how to keep the guy once we get him. Everyone readily offers up advice on how to land the man of your dreams, but the scariest part about keeping him around is that there is no game, no strategy, no step-by-step guide. He'll stick around because, well, he likes you. And it's really that simple and really that complicated all at once. So, if you've made the decision to dive head first into Step 6, also known as...
- Stage 6: The Unknown - ...Good luck.
15.10.09
Paris, Revisit-ed.
We met for a coffee at café Buci on the corner of my street--the only downfall of living in the best part of town is that you never venture elsewhere. We sipped from tiny cups of dirty, bitingly sweet espressos at a cast iron table. We both grasped madly for understanding, fumbling words and language in a way that only lovers can. Sometimes I wonder if he would have understood if we spoke the same language—part of me thinks it would forever be lost in translation. I loved it this way. I hated it this way.I arrived in Paris a different person. I don’t mean that I changed throughout my séjour—although I did—but that I was “different” in the sense that I didn't fit the mold of the 20-something American girl looking for her soul mate—especially if he comes with a sexy accent and the dark mysterious stare that all foreign men have mastered, a stare that seams to effortlessly capture helpless, painfully gullible American women.
When we grew tired of translating, he suggested a walk. Still not accustomed to the French practice of injecting oneself with an hourly dose of caffeine (it’s as if this is the only respectable French pastime besides smoking and cycling in the Tour de France), I thought a walk would sweat out some of the nervous, caffeine-induced jitters.
The sky threatened rain, but because the Parisian skies suggest rain nearly every day, it is never commented on. Perhaps this is why there is a café every five steps, and why they are never empty—the Parisians need a place to duck out of the rain and drink dirty coffee and Beaujolais.
As we walked he took my hand in his. My palm was damp from humidity and sweat, but he didn’t seem to mind, or perhaps he was too polite to say anything. He seemed perfectly content just to walk; however being the anal retentive American that I am (and always will be—even 6 months in France couldn’t change my ways) I insisted we pick a destination.
A friend of mine had suggested I meet him around 5 at the Panthéon for a special exhibit commemorating those who lost their lives in the Holocaust. I phoned him to let him know I’d be joining him and then had le francais steer us toward the landmark.
Leisurely, we strolled past the movie theaters, talking of the films we had been meaning to see, past the McDonald’s where the line snaked out the door, and uphill past the Sorbonne where I had been taking an orientation course.
We turned a corner and the monumental building seemed to spring from the ground, towering over us in all of its grand glory. Suddenly, he turned to me, breaking the silent language barrier. “It’s beautiful, no?” he asked. I found it odd that he didn't ask this question in French, the language of love and beauty and all things spectacular.
“Yes. Yes, it is beautiful.”
Just then, it began to rain. Droplets the size of cherries fell on our foreheads, splashing at our hair lines and trickling down our faces like freshwater tears. Clumsily, I fell into him, the tips of our noses kissing as we leaned against a building in search of shelter from the overhang. In the time it took for our gaze to wander from each other, the rain had penetrated our beings, melting away all inhibitions.
“Si j’étais un vrai français, je t’embrasserais maintenant.” He whispered.
Translation:"If I was a real frenchman, I'd kiss you right now."
I wondered what he meant by this. All afternoon I had teased him about the French men and their charming ways. He pulled out my chair and I snickered, he paid the tab and I shook my head. I told him that real romance is wasted on me. It embarrasses me. He seemed to think I was lying, that what I really wanted was for him to try harder.
I smiled and turned to dart across the street and into the Panthéon where he held my wet coat and told me about the famous “vrai français” who were buried in its tombs.
Our moment outside in the rain had escaped us. So instead, I let him kiss me on the stairs of the metro station, as his cigarette burned a whole in my jacket.
23.9.09
Chalk-ed up to Romance.
This is the first of many "why don't we (blank) anymore?" posts. Perhaps with your help, we can bring some of these fabulous things back. I hope so. Anyway, here's the first of my woes:
Like this one: One morning during my stay in Paris (Did I mention I lived in Paris for 6 months? No? Well, we'll talk about that later.) I walked outside of my apartment to find a trail of chalk-drawn hearts on the sidewalk. Totally normal, right? Each heart had a little message in it, so being the curious romantic that I am, I decided to follow the trail and see where it lead. The first:
By this point I was already secretly plotting how I could construct a tarp over this casual piece of art so the rain could never wash it away, when I spotted the next one:
Okay, now I'm officially intrigued. Where are we going?! What will we find when we get there?!
Realizing what a strange tourist I looked like, taking pictures of the ground, I moved along quickly, desperate to find the next message in line. The trail wound through the tiny streets of the left bank, over the Seine on the wooden footbridge Passerelle des Arts, and across the street to the Louvre. There I stood, in front of the museum famous for some of the most grandiose and romantic masterpieces in the world, staring at amateur chalk-drawn hearts on the ground. I believe our friend Alanis would have something to say...isn't it ironic? Don't you think? Finally it appeared I had found the last message on the sidewalk scavenger hunt. Pushing tourists out of the way before their white tennis shoes smudged the message, I found the happy ending:
Why don't we make grand romantic gestures anymore?
Like this one: One morning during my stay in Paris (Did I mention I lived in Paris for 6 months? No? Well, we'll talk about that later.) I walked outside of my apartment to find a trail of chalk-drawn hearts on the sidewalk. Totally normal, right? Each heart had a little message in it, so being the curious romantic that I am, I decided to follow the trail and see where it lead. The first:
"I love you a little..."
By this point I was already secretly plotting how I could construct a tarp over this casual piece of art so the rain could never wash it away, when I spotted the next one:
"I love you a lot..."
Are you melting yet? I was. Hardcore. A few more steps and I found the next:
"Are you starting to see where you're going?"
Okay, now I'm officially intrigued. Where are we going?! What will we find when we get there?!
Realizing what a strange tourist I looked like, taking pictures of the ground, I moved along quickly, desperate to find the next message in line. The trail wound through the tiny streets of the left bank, over the Seine on the wooden footbridge Passerelle des Arts, and across the street to the Louvre. There I stood, in front of the museum famous for some of the most grandiose and romantic masterpieces in the world, staring at amateur chalk-drawn hearts on the ground. I believe our friend Alanis would have something to say...isn't it ironic? Don't you think? Finally it appeared I had found the last message on the sidewalk scavenger hunt. Pushing tourists out of the way before their white tennis shoes smudged the message, I found the happy ending:
"Tu es la femme de ma vie. Veux-tu m'épouser?"
Translation: "You are the woman of my life. Will you marry me?"
As Rachel Zoe says, I die! Only in Paris would one follow a trail of glorified post-it notes a mile to discover a marriage proposal written so beautifully and yet so simply by a mystery writer. When was the last time you saw something like this on the streets of New York? Chicago? Anywhere?
So I say it's time to bring the love back. Let's make grand romantic gestures just because we can! And sorry fellas, a text message just doesn't cut it. (Did I mention I was single?)
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