Les Petits Learn-ed Scholars

“At times the world may seem an unfriendly and sinister place, but believe that there is much more good in it than bad. All you have to do is look hard enough. and what might seem to be a series of unfortunate events may in fact be the first steps of a journey”
- Lemony Snicket

Found this quote on Lindsay's blog and it made me think of the days when I used to tutor two children down the street in my college summers.  We would sit in the cool air conditioning, elbows supporting our heavy afternoon minds and read the entire series of Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events.

I remember the little "o's" their lips would make as they read, and the quizzical looks that would cross their faces when they came to a tough-to-sound-out word or a puzzling plot twist.  I would wait, give them some time to work it out in their own way, and more often than not I was pleasantly surprised by the discussions they would initiate.

Though I am a lover of literary classics, sometimes I find the best messages are in between the sticky pages of children's books.  Le Petit Prince taught us that "It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye."

Thank you, little ones, for teaching me more in one summer afternoon than any degree ever could.

Neglect-ed.

Isn't it funny how finite the space in our life can be?  We pack it to the brim with responsibilites, and relationships, and passions, and when we try to add just one more thing, one more drop, a little spills over and we have to take something out of the cup to drink it all down.

I'm sorry to say that is what happened with you, dear -ed chroniclers.  I filled my life with family road trips, and work projects, and book club, and late night phone calls, and early morning gym sessions.  And before I knew it, I'd gone a week without a hello.  Though I'm sorry to have neglected you lately, I am not sorry that my life has been at the brim.  A full life is a happy life--and I'm not just talking about activities.  A life full of love, and laughter, and little e-mails 'hello' is the happiest of all.

You only have one life, and who knows how tall the glass will be.  Fill it until it spills over, and then gulp down the delicious nectar squeezed out of every experience.  Trust me, there's room for a walk in the sunshine, and a margarita with the girls among your laundry and grocery shopping.  And I guarantee, your thirst will never be quenched until you drink every last drop, every last drop, every last drop.

pic: weheartit

Week, End-ed.

Finally, this long week has come to a close and I can look forward to a mini-break filled with the following:

An hour alone with my book, uninteruppted.

(No, that's not me.)

A birthday meal of shrimp and grits with Mom & Dad

(Happy Birthday Mommy dearest!)

Massive Crumbs cupcakes for Mom's sweet tooth.

A race along the river, baby sister's in the Big East!

 A long drive home in the rain, 

listening to Mom's jazz music.

 A lazy Sunday evening spent under the covers.

Thought, provok-ed.

"Too old to be an acrobat, too young to die." --from this month's book club pick, Let the Great World Spin.

When we're young enough to do it all, we can't see it.  When we can finally see it all, we're too old to do it.  The world works in frustratingly mysterious ways.  What will you do in this world of trapezes?

Fly.

Support-ed.

Last night at dinner, the topic of conversation turned to books, the book business in particular.  As I sipped my dirty martini (divine!) and he threw back a Sam Adams, questions and ideas flew back and forth across the table.

For the first time, I really had the opportunity to explain the publishing industry, and to my surprise, he had a genuine interest in all that I said.  Finally, when I paused to take a breath (and guzzle a bit more vodka), he leaned in.  "You should write a book, babe."

It's always been a dream, one I assume most bloggers share.  Something I've always hoped to do.  Number one on the bucket list.  However, it's always been a bit of a silent dream.  Not one I'm willing to shout too loudly.  But, hearing it out loud from another's lips made it seem more concrete.

"I will."

Sometimes all it takes is a bit of encouragement; the wings of dreams don't work without a little wind underneath them.  So, I encourage you to surround yourself with people who support you and the things you love.  They just may be the ones to make them happen.

pic:weheartit

Happiness, Project-ed.

I was feeling a bit like I was sleep walking through the day so, this afternoon during my lunch break, I took a stroll through the bookstore downstairs.  While I was perusing the new releases, I stumbled upon a table that seemed to be entirely covered in books on finding happiness.  Happiness at Work, A Course in Happiness, The Nine Rooms of Happiness, and the one that caught my eye: The Happiness Project.

Perhaps the recession has left us all in search of something uplifting.  But, generally, I feel our society is down in the dumps.  And re-reading the first sentence of this blog post, I realize I might be too.

Flipping through one of the above-mentioned titles, I came across the following piece of advice: "Take an inventory of your life.  Make a list or description of what you have going for you.  Then make a list of the all the 'ifs' you think would make you happier--the 'if' I had this, then I'd be happier.  I'm not usually a believer in self-help editorial, but I was feeling particularly needy today, so I figured I'd give it a try.

So here's my inventory:

I am 23 years old, living in New York City on my own paycheck.  I'm a pretty decent cook, I can run a half-marathon, and I have a steady job, a fabulous roommate, and a boy I love who loves me back.  My family is supportive and involved in all that I do, and my friends know just how to bring the light I need into my life.  I know how to speak French fluently, and have a wonderful vacation planned for late May.  Writing comes quite naturally to me, I was born with a fairly proportional body, and luck usually seems to be on my side.  I accept that I am not perfect, but try my hardest.  Life in general, has never really been that hard.

And here are my ifs:

If I had a higher-paying job, then I might be happier.
If I had a more fulfilling job, then I might be happier.
If I had more time to travel, then I might be happier.

The result:
If I focused less on the ifs and more on the nows, then I might be happier.

Huh, maybe there is something to this happiness trend after all...
Book club, anyone?

Thought, Challeng-ed.

Last night I attended the second meeting of my newly founded book club, which I must say is quickly becoming the highlight of my social calendar.  It is a rare occasion that a group of women in their twenties can get together and inspire stimulating conversation that does not include an evaluation of whether or not 'he's just not that into you.'  (The minute someone suggests that book, I'm out!)

Anyway, this month's pick was a novel by Kathryn Stockett, The Help, which tells the story of three women living in Jackson, Mississippi, during the brink of the civil rights movement.  Two black maids and one white wanna-be journalist tell a heart-warming story about what it's like to live on the outside of social norms. I highly recommend it for its innovative treatment of a frequently visited topic and for its general humanistic appeal.

Throughout our discussion, the topic of activism vs. progressive came up (quite appropriate for the week of MLK's birthday).  We struggled to define both terms and essentially came up with the following:

• An progressivist is a forward thinker, someone who challenges the status quot, but does not take action to change the behaviors of others.
  

• An activist is one who takes a stand for his/her beliefs and works to change the attitude or behavior of others in order to reach a goal.

A ring of women sitting on couch pillows in a Manhattan apartment suddenly began to judge themselves.  Could any of them even consider themselves progressivists?  What were they doing in a world, that although changed since the time period of the current month's book selection, still harbors inequality in tiny pockets across its surface?  Sometimes we forget that just because we're one, we can't join together to create many.

What would you do if you had the power of many?

Imperfect, perfect-ed.

My sister always jokes that I want the greatest life that has ever existed. Every time someone brings us flowers, I make a comment about always wanting fresh cut flowers in the house to brighten up the rooms. I make lists of books I think will enrich my life. I wade through thousands of slides, looking for a piece of art to put over my bed, but never can decide on just one. I choose what I eat not based on nutritional value or caloric content, but by how pleasurable it feels on the tongue, how satisfying it is. Sometimes I think I spend so much time trying to create the perfect life that I forget about all the perfectly imperfect things that make life so beautiful.

Was it wrong to want all of these things in my life? Perhaps not at all. In a way, I believe they all stand for something greater—-a material representation of things that are difficult to identify and nearly impossible to recreate. The books may stand for the knowledge and enlightenment I actively seek throughout my life. The flowers may represent a simple, natural beauty I long for in all aspects of being. The sweets and fresh fruit and delicious, satisfying meals are the ultimate basic pleasures—a way of indulging the senses, exploring a realm of delectable treats.

Through all of this, the writing has always been there. An outlet, a pastime, a love. And perhaps, if all else disappears—if the books are all read, the flowers wilt and die, the food looses its taste, the writing will still be there to live, to love me back. Because, after all, I've perfected imperfect.

Highly Principl-ed.

This weekend during brunch with my oldest friend, we got to talking about the philosophy of life.  She mentioned that she was reading The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, which is now on the top of my reading list after I finish The Pillars of the Earth.  Basically we discussed how as humans, we tend to focus our lives around one theme, be it work, family, relationships, etc.  Though the focus often changes as our lives change, these external foci always leave us feeling as though we're not in control; however, if we concentrate on living our lives based on principles, we feel more empowered and therefore, more effective.  She didn't go into detail about what author Stephen Covey believed his 7 principles were, and I'm sure I'll have more insight after reading the book, but I thought this was a very interesting idea.

Whether I like it or not, I often find my happiness depends a lot on how my work life is progressing (not much), how exciting my love life is (see pseudo-date reference), and how much family support I receive (lots, but never enough).  Instead, I've decided I will begin focusing on a few principles:

1. Accept. I will accept that this is my perfect life...right now.  No waiting around for something different to happen, the best for right now is here and ready.
   
2. Minimize. One's life is never bigger than the little things that it's made of: a decadent piece of chocolate cake, a long fall run, a super late night with friends, a 'job well done' email from the boss man, a smile left for a stranger.  The littler your life is, the bigger and better it gets. 
3. Maximize.  Seize the opportunities presented to you.  And keep your eyes and ears open, sometimes opportunity knocks softly. 
4. Love.  Dish it out in every shape and form.  And be sure to give yourself a extra large helping. 
5. Believe.  Trust that you're stronger than you realize.  If you believe in yourself, and in your decisions, whatever they may be, you will always be right.

So I'm not quite at 7, but I think it's a good start.  Besides, I've always been highly principl-ed.

(image from Cal Tech website)

All Sort-ed Out.

So the past few days have been a bit of a struggle. After a few tears, many bouts with frustration, and a large dose of support, I've finally come up with an acceptable post. Because let's be honest, who wants to read a "poor me pity party post?" (How's that for some alliteration?) This blog project began as an escape from the mundane-ness of work--a way to sort out my thoughts and have a little fun along the way. However, lately my thoughts have been a bit unruly. Usually if I can keep busy at work, I don't think about how much I wish I wasn't at work, but recently I haven't been able to get my mind on anything else. So after some trial and error (wine, beer, tequila...although temporary solutions to the problem always left me feeling worse off than before), I decided that the solution might be running.

Why is it that when our bodies are busiest, our minds are most at peace? It is only when I'm running, all muscles engaged, that I have my clearest, most inspiring ideas. The rest of the world seems to melt away and it is just me and my thoughts. I feel like just as we must routinely organize our desk, clean the bathroom, and re-stock the fridge, our minds need a re-org on a regular basis. The housekeeper needs to come in and "straighten up" the place.

Admittedly, sometimes my mind feels like a teenager's dorm room during finals, the floor scattered with dirty clothes, empty pizza boxes, and unfinished term papers. And yet other times, it feels like my grandmother's living room, not a thing out of place--a quick dust and we're good to go. Whatever the state of my thoughts, a run always serves as my housekeeping. As my sneakers pound the pavement, I can sort through the cobwebs in my brain, tucking the thoughts about disappointments and missed opportunities under the rug, and displaying the bright, inspired ones front and center on the coffee table.

Lately, the need for these runs has become more and more apparent. I've been taking advantage of the beautiful fall-esque weather and opting for long shaded jaunts in Central Park. Whether it's the endorphins pumping through my blood stream (anyone else wonder why no one has been able to develop an 'endorphin drug'? I'd inject that juice directly into my bloodstream without batting an eyelash), the tightening of my hamstrings, or the ability to let my mind run free that helps sort everything out, I'm not sure. But what I realized last night as I rounded the lower loop of CP is that that's okay. In fact, that uncertainty seems to be the essence of life. If we were sure about everything, there'd be nothing left to discover. And when you really think about it, we'll probably never have everything sorted out. That's the whole point--that just when we have everything alphabetized on the bookshelves of our minds, life comes in and pulls all the books off the shelves so they fall open to new, unread pages.

(photo from weburbanist.com)

Want-ed.

• to be the ever-refined woman who looks most stunning in red lipstick and a starched white shirt.

• to frame photos from my travels and hang them around my home to spark conversation with guests and to always keep the memory of the destination fresh.

• to become an early riser; one who enjoys a cup of perfectly brewed coffee, the newspaper, and a beautiful view for a few moments of peace each morning.

• to be the ultimate hostess; Sunday brunch in the garden, Winter Cocktails parties, Celebrations for Nothing in Particular, etc.

• to make a habit of keeping a journal to record my thoughts, dreams, desires, resolutions, etc.
  

• to become an excellent cook, perfecting as many dishes and committing the recipes to memory, starting with my mother's tarte aux aubergines.

• to revisit my family roots in Kerry & Cork, Ireland.

• to record my grandmother Eddy's story in all its marvelous, detailed glory.

• to spend one week in perfect silence in order to discover my inner voice and learn to truly listen.

• to learn how to meditate.

• to learn to see myself in a way I never before knew I could; to develop a type of higher vision that is unattainable by simple reflection or obvious observation.

• to work on my golf game ("a life skill" says Dad).

• to have an entire wall in my home dedicated to a built-in bookshelf filled with books I love.

• to have dinner party guests who inspire intellectual and educational conversation.

• to have my own garden where I can grow vegetables, fruits, and vegetables to use in my dishes.

• to find inner peace.

• to be an inspiration to others.

• to focus on the little things. they are the best things.
  

Crack-ed.

"Sometimes I can hear my bones straining under the weight of all the lives I'm not living." - Jonathan Safran Foer

If you have not read Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close please stop what you're doing and hunker down in Barnes & Noble with a Venti non-fat vanilla latte until you've read all 368 pages (don't panic, it has pictures!) A boy I once thought way too much about gifted it to me and I gobbled it up on one 3-hour plane ride. I no longer think much about the boy, but the book has left an unshakable impression on me.

Like the fire-red imprint of the hand on the front cover, it seems this one line has seared a permanent thought onto my brain. The thought weighs on my existence more heavily every day and I fear if I don't find a way to forget it, my bones will crack under the pressure of not enough.

Why is it that no matter what we're doing, we question what it would be like to be doing something else? I have a job, but the thrills of unemployment beckon. I am a city girl, but the lazy country life might suit me better. I am single, but wouldn't it be nice to settle down?

There are so many things I'm not doing. So many places I'm not going. So many people I'm not meeting.

So many lives I'm not living...how will the one I am living ever be enough?