Forward-ed.

 
What are you looking forward to?

This NYTimes article reported that the anticipation leading up to a vacation can boost happiness levels more than the actual vacation itself.

We psych ourselves up imagining our toes digging in the sand, the cool taste of a cocktail in the afternoon sun, the lazy nap under thin sheets after a post-beach shower.  It is the anticipation, the vision of leaving our desk jobs behind, that makes taking a vacation that much sweeter.

I'm a firm believer that there should always be something to look forward to--even if it is something as small as splitting a beer at the end of your Wednesday.  The anticipation gives me a happiness boost and makes the event even more enjoyable when I experience it.

There are drawbacks of looking too far forward, I know.  The boyfriend will tell you I think more about being 40 than I do about being 27.

It's a delicate balance, keeping your eyes open to the joys of the present while still being able to focus on the next fun event on the horizon.

For now, I'm looking forward to a quick weekend trip to Cape Cod for (you guessed it!) more lobster.

Is anticipation the happiness drug for the human mind? What's your vorfreude?

Life, Experienc-ed.

The boyfriend and I recently watched the much talked about documentary, Happy.  It was a truly thought-provoking film about what it means to be happy.  Some of it was scientific, citing domapine and other happy 'drugs' and some of it was experiential.  One of the most resonating tidbits that stuck with me is that the happiest people tend to consistently be those that to expose themselves to new experiences and continued learning.  It can be as simple as taking a different route home from work, or picking up a new book.  New experiences give us a rush and are more likely to produce the happy chemicals in our brains.

One of my favorite bloggers, Joanna Goddard, had the same reaction and has created a weekly 'Fall Challenges' series in which each week she challenges her readers to do or try something new.  This week was to give up TV (unfortunately, I failed miserably as the boyfriend and I are knee deep in a Game of Thrones marathon).

Similarly, at the beginning of this year, I had challenged myself to take one 'class' each month of 2012.  I can't tell you how rewarding the process has been. 

I've taken everything from new classes at the gym (Barre Method, Bikram yoga, Zumba) to a Food Discovery Tour of the Lower East Side.

This month's class was a Wine and Cheese course through Artisanal NYC.  We spent a wonderful two hours tasting cheeses, pairing them with wines and learning about the process and regions in which these cheeses are made.

I thouroughly enjoyed myself (though that could just be the wine talking...)  And I've officially decided this is a resoltion I will continue to uphold in 2013.  Experience is truly at the root of all happiness. 


Next up: Scuba lessons and a Knife Skills course

What new experiences have made you a happier person?  Any suggestions for classes I should take in 2013?

Happiness, Sim-ed up.

Have you ever played the highly addictive computer game, The Sims?

When I was growing up, playing house involved a Fisher Price kitchennette, an easy bake oven, and a few unsuspecting friends who were willing to taste my underbaked mud pies.  Today, kids play house on the computer.  Whether this is sad or genius I don't quite know, but I'm referencing this computer game because it sheds some real light on real life.

My sister and I used to have a blast building imaginary lives and imaginary houses, developing imaginary careers and arranging imaginary furniture. And yet, when I think about it, it all was so realistic.

For those of you that are familiar with the game, you'll remember that each character had several basic needs that you were responsible for tending to in order to make sure they were happy and healthy.  Just like in real life, your avatar needed to eat, use the bathroom, stay fit, learn and have social interaction in order to maintain a healthy life.  Each of these tasks took a certain amount of time, and some days, you just couldn't fit it all in.

Isn't it the same deal with real life?  We know we have certain needs to tend to, but it's never as cut and dry as it was on the Sims.  But perhaps it should be.

Yesterday, I spent a very lonely and unproductive day at work.  All I really wanted to do was crawl into bed and cry.  But I knew that wouldn't boost my happiness meter one bit.  Instead, I laced up my running shoes, bolted out the door for the quickest 3 miles I've ever run, treated myself to a healthy vegetarian meal, and then headed back into the city to meet 4 of my favorite females for some much needed giggling, gossiping, and love.  By the end of the night, as I drifted off into much needed sleep, I realized that my happiness meter was right where it should have been--full.

Life will always have it's ups and downs, but as long as we take care of ourselves, we'll always win.  Thanks, Sims, for making something so complicated so simple in this digital world. 

What do you need today?

Challeng-ed.

There are two things you can do when presented with a challenge: step up to the plate, or cower in the corner and hope the challenger doesn't smell fear.

But, see, the thing about hiding out is that you'll never know if you could actually do it.  And what if you could. actually. do it??

At least, if you try and fail, you get the credit for trying.  And, even better, if you try and succeed, well then you're pretty awesome!  So sometimes it's worth it to stick your neck out and give it a go--whether that means stepping up when your boss is out on a snow day, or taking that class on a new subject, or trying out that tough hike you always found too intimidating.

I stepped up today.  And even though I may not have been the best, I did it my way and it worked well enough.  And, my friends, it feels pretty darn good.

What challenge have you taken on lately?

Time, Wish-ed Away

Sitting at my desk on a cold January day, wishing that 5’oclock would come 8 hours early makes me sad. I never thought that I’d wish my time away. But when I take a step back, I’m simply wishing for time spent another way. Pretending to stare at e-mails like I care, filing things to fill the time, stressing about a typo in yesterdays report are not the things I want to make up my life.

I want sunsets watched from a breezy dock. I want cozy late nights baking and laughing with my baby sister. I want road trips to no where and everywhere, in search of the best strawberry milkshake. I want a candlelit table of friends, littered with empty wine glasses and bread crumbs.
I want a good relationship with an appreciative boss. I want fulfilling work and a comfortable work environment. I want to be financially stable, without having to negotiate between grocery shopping and a glass of wine with a friend. I want purpose. I want more hours for all the good stuff, and less of the not so great. I want my life, and no one else’s.

Sitting at my desk on a cold January day, watching the snow fall outside makes me realize I’m happy. These things are there for me, somewhere—today or down the line. They’re hiding in my pockets and in between my toes. They’re hiding in my inbox and under my nose. They’re there, showering down in big, white fluffy flakes. I just have to catch them as they fall.

PS - That's me.  I told you I'd introduce myself this year.  And today, it just felt right.  Nice to meet you all.

Tuck-ed away for a rainy day.

A good friend just made a bold move to pick up her life and shift it to the West Coast in pursuit of sunshine, happiness and truth.  A fellow blogger, and often the source of inspiration for -ed chronicle posts, she asked what had happened to my blog.  The last post published in late June.

"I'm just kinda...happy." I replied. 

When you think about some of the literature world's best known authors, one can conclude that happiness is not the best inspiration.  It is rare that a masterpiece sprouts from bliss.  Instead, one's best life work often is born from inner turmoil.  Think Poe, Hemingway, van Gogh.

But, she offered an interesting thought.  Happiness is a fleeting thing.  An entity that changes with the seasons, the circumstances, the hour.  It is important to preserve it in whatever form you can so that you can still find it in those moments it disappears.

What is it that makes you happy?

A feeling of accomplishment, acceptance, self-fulfillment?  Coming home to a big smile and loving arms at the end of the day?  Savoring the little things, without losing sight of the bigger picture?  Whatever it is that makes up your version of bliss--save it.  Tuck it away in a pocket for a rainy day.  Because sometimes it's just as difficult to find as it is to keep.

Wishing you bliss, Thursday evening sangria and tapas, and everything you're looking for.

Balanc-ed in moderation.

Ah, it is amazing what a restful weekend can do for the soul!  Sometimes there is nothing sweeter than being in bed by midnight with tired legs, a fully tummy, and a happy heart.
Today productivity started strong, and lagged after lunch, though I don't feel bad about taking a little me time today.  The attempted theme of this week is balance, what should be a life theme, I think.  And so I will give myself some blog browsing time if it means I'll bang out the 30 grant payments waiting to be processed tomorrow morning.  I will take the trip home tomorrow night for dinner with baby sis, and maybe fit in a tennis session to feed my need for a good run around before bed.  I will skip the gym for a catch up session with the girls later this week.  I often get lost in the 'need to do,' 'should really,' and 'wish I did's of life.  It's time to recognize the 'sure, why not's.

It doesn't matter how many times it is said, we always forget that the to do list will be there tomorrow.  A good life, like a good drink, should have equal parts sweetness, tart, and spice.  May you be drunk with happiness this week.  But remember, all in moderation.

Peak-ed into the Future.

As my plane landed last night, a sinking feeling began to grow in my stomach.  A sinking feeling that it was over; that our vacation was coming to a close, and reality would tuck away all of the good things in life until the next time we hit the beach.  And a sinking feeling that I'd never leave again, forgetting that I'm lucky enough to have another trip planned two weeks from now.

How do our brains have a way of making everything so final sometimes?

Today sitting at my desk, I had to remind myself there will always be a next new big thing.  That just because one event, one experience, one day is over, it does not mean that there won't be an even better one to follow.  There will always be something to look forward to, no matter how small.  In fact, life isn't always about the big things.  It's about the anxious feeling of cracking open a new notebook on the first day of class.  It's about the dizzy laughter you share over crisp white wine on the first days of summer.  It's about the hugs you get walking through the door back home. 

Life's landscape is not a steady climb, but a jagged, twisting path dipping into valleys and soaring to the peaks above the clouds.  The best climbers understand that there is just as much beauty in the valley as there is from the top.

Happiness, Project-ed.

I was feeling a bit like I was sleep walking through the day so, this afternoon during my lunch break, I took a stroll through the bookstore downstairs.  While I was perusing the new releases, I stumbled upon a table that seemed to be entirely covered in books on finding happiness.  Happiness at Work, A Course in Happiness, The Nine Rooms of Happiness, and the one that caught my eye: The Happiness Project.

Perhaps the recession has left us all in search of something uplifting.  But, generally, I feel our society is down in the dumps.  And re-reading the first sentence of this blog post, I realize I might be too.

Flipping through one of the above-mentioned titles, I came across the following piece of advice: "Take an inventory of your life.  Make a list or description of what you have going for you.  Then make a list of the all the 'ifs' you think would make you happier--the 'if' I had this, then I'd be happier.  I'm not usually a believer in self-help editorial, but I was feeling particularly needy today, so I figured I'd give it a try.

So here's my inventory:

I am 23 years old, living in New York City on my own paycheck.  I'm a pretty decent cook, I can run a half-marathon, and I have a steady job, a fabulous roommate, and a boy I love who loves me back.  My family is supportive and involved in all that I do, and my friends know just how to bring the light I need into my life.  I know how to speak French fluently, and have a wonderful vacation planned for late May.  Writing comes quite naturally to me, I was born with a fairly proportional body, and luck usually seems to be on my side.  I accept that I am not perfect, but try my hardest.  Life in general, has never really been that hard.

And here are my ifs:

If I had a higher-paying job, then I might be happier.
If I had a more fulfilling job, then I might be happier.
If I had more time to travel, then I might be happier.

The result:
If I focused less on the ifs and more on the nows, then I might be happier.

Huh, maybe there is something to this happiness trend after all...
Book club, anyone?

Baby Stepp-ed.

I had a bit of a rough day yesterday and decided the best remedy was a home-cooked meal and one of Dad's pep talks.  Sure enough, Mom's spaghetti bolognse and Dad's sage words did the trick.

Here's what he said:  This is just the beginning.  Building the foundation for the rest of your life is often the hardest, and the least interesting task, but certainly one of the most important.  It can only get bigger and better from here.

Look at everyday as a challenge.  You may not make much, or feel that you do much (of importance, at least), but this is just the beginning.  Imagine how exciting it will be when you get out of the ‘foundation building’ and start putting up the walls…and then eventually, decorating the walls just the way we like them.  You can’t decorate a wall before the wall is built.  Though I hate to say this, you’re going to have to take baby steps.

And so far, you’ve taken some great baby steps.

As if those words weren't enough,on the morning commute I read the following quote: “That which is around me does not affect my mood; my mood affects that which is around me.”  The sun is shining, the world is vibrant, I am ready.

pic: weheartit

Because moments are meant to be savor-ed.

Today, I hope you...
Smile so much, there's time enough to count teeth.
Laugh so hard, there's no need for exercise.
Savor every little bite of a favorite treat, completely without guilt.
Dance in the mirror, and love what you see.
Accomplish something you always thought impossible.
Find out that what you hoped for was true all along.
Make every moment, every tiny moment, yours.
pic: weheartit

Hop-ed, Dream-ed, Realiz-ed.

Today, like any other day, is a day of unlimited potential.  Anything can happen if you believe it can.  Make today a day of hopes and dreams and realities.

1. Help yourself to an extra large slice of pumpkin pie...with whipped cream.
2. Find time to tell the people in your life how much they mean to you.
3. Start a tradition that your children will carry on when you're gone.
4. Relish the simple pleasures.
5. Kiss someone until passion leaks through your lips.
6. Trust in the possibility of the impossible.
7. Dust off your wings and make a promise to use them when the right breeze blows through.
8. Identify the things in your life to which you will remain loyal no matter what.
9. Ask the universe for something you think you deserve.  Then work harder to deserve it.
10.  Discover something magical about the world today.

pic: weheartit

Never Been Kiss-ed Like This

I've been kissed.  Or so I thought.  Until you came along.  And I realized I've never been kissed like this before...

Kissed first thing in the morning, before the first blink.
Kissed mid-sentence, mid-smile, mid-bite.
Kissed on the cheek for good luck, on the hand for good evening, on the forehead for sweet dreams, on the neck for sweet nothings.
Kissed in the car, before I leave for the day.  And kissed in the car, after I've returned.
Kissed when I'm wrong, and when you're right.
Kissed slowly, kissed madly, kissed deeply.
Kissed because you missed me.  And kissed because I've been here all day.
Kissed until I erupt into fits of laughter.
Kissed for a million reasons, and no reason at all.
Kissed in my language, and bisou-ed in yours.
Kissed because there are too may words.  And kissed because there aren't any left. 
Kissed on a street corner as rain rolls off our umbrella onto the pavement.
Kissed under the covers so that no one can discover us.
Kissed everywhere, kissed anywhere, kissed there.
Kissed while we let our hands explore each other.
Kissed last thing in the evening, after my eyes have shut for the night.
Kissed like this, like that, and oh, kissed like this.

A kiss by any other name would never taste as sweet.

Bath-ed in Deep Lavender.

Let's run away together, shall we?  A nice, warm sunlit porch. A soft breeze that rustles our hair.  You lean into me and tell me I'm the one.  I smile as I smoosh my face into your neck.  We waste away the day doing nothing in particular except loving one another.  But loving each other seems to take up every ounce of energy we've got.  I reach out for your hand and you pull me closer.  How did we ever get so lucky?  Slowly, the sun dips below the horizon and we're bathed in the deep lavender of twilight.  I feel your chest rise and fall with every breath, and it intoxicates me.  We're so exhausted from doing nothing all day that we drift off to a peaceful slumber, and wake to find that nothing has changed.  Yes, I do believe it would be quite boringly blissful.

Happiness List-ed Here.

Let's start a happy list, shall we?  Please feel free to add...

1. crossing things off a to do list
2. red velvet cupcakes with cream cheese frosting
3. the happy freak out first moments alone after a first kiss
4. the voice of my father on the phone
   
5. running further than i thought i could
6. anticipation
   
7. a really fabulous pair of new shoes
   
8. reading aloud to each other in bed
9. the first snow
10. finding you have things in common that you thought you'd never admit
11. driving with the windows down and the radio up
12. the way the bare trees look in winter from your bedroom window
13. brunch
    
14. when my mom laughs so hard she cries
15. seeing a new text from him
    
16. whispering in french
17. really crunchy pickles
    
18. looking at the photos of a night out and giggling with your girls the morning after
19. wandering
20. making little noises while i eat
21. the first moments of seeing an old friend when you just want to keep asking her how she's been
22. christmas lights
    
23. twilight
    

Paris, Introduc-ed.

I told you we'd talk about Paris...

We were walking along the Seine, licking Berthillion ice cream cones, talking about our futures.  I decided to try out my new History of Paris knowledge on the beautiful French man walking beside me as we crossed over to Isle-St-Louis.  

"Ahem," (cue sexy French voice) "You know, this is the oldest neighborhood in Paris."

He didn’t miss a beat.  “Yes, and it is the most expensive neighborhood in Paris.”

Pause.

Why hadn’t I thought of that?! Instead, I thought: only in Paris is the oldest place in the city the most expensive!

“One day I will own an apartment on this island,” he continued, “and you will come and live with me.” Though I very well knew this relationship--or whatever it was we had--would not survive my departure from Paris, I nodded. 

 “Only if you drape me in jewels,” I teased.

And that is how life went in Paris.  I floated along in a dream-like state not knowing what was real and what was a figment of my imagination.  One moment I was a beautiful dame, draped in jewels, a cigarette in my wrinkly hands that I smoked through a long filter like they only do in old movies, calling everyone 'darling' and 'chérie.'  The next I was a young twenty-year-old staggering out of Pub St. Michel into the hazy dusk of morning in search of some carbohydrates and my bed.

Those six months were the sweetest I can remember, both because I consumed six thousand times my body weight in French pastries and because I cannot remember another time in my life when I did not have to seek happiness.  In Paris, it just found me.  I am not saying that I just floated down the tiny rues in a constant haze of utopia, but that even when I was miserable, it was beautiful.  Paris is the only city in the world that I have ever been to where you can be just as happy being happy as being miserable.  A glass of wine in an outdoor café tastes just as delicious when shared with a lover as when contemplating one’s miserable life.

Not to worry...Frenchie will return in future episodes.  (And my hangover is doing much better, thank you.  Must be all the cake.)